On The Roof Again
by Dr-Lemona
Summary: Sequel to "Crimson and Clover." Summary: An exercise in futility has left one man struggling to accept whether or not the love of his life gives him happiness. Post Carnival, with background appearances by our favorite Kaichou/Wolf couple.
1. Chapter 1

Good evening, Author here.

Eh, I like how I said "Crimson and Clover" would be a one-shot, and here comes this idea.

**Please Read Before Going Further**: It tickled me when I went through the Mai-hime directory and found maybe a handful of decent fanfictions that didn't revolve around Shizuru and Natsuki. I like that couple very much myself but it got me chuckling whenever I thought back to the horde of shiznat fangirls crying out for blood whenever a male was introduced. Yuuichi is the main character for this probably 2, maybe 3-part work. I was challenged to write something plausible that didn't grind all the male characters into dirt but at the same time offered up some Shizuru/Natsuki in the background. Hur, I wonder if I did it. I'm not expecting many reviews due to the shift of main characters, but I hope this gets my message across.

Hopefully I didn't scare off too many readers. That said, please enjoy this effort!

Mai-hime belongs to Sunrise, lyrics are from the song by Eve 6's "On the Roof Again"

* * *

**On the Roof Again**

_In the throes of young love Leroy  
Didn't think to think and in the blink of an eye  
Tied the knot not knowing how to not know  
He was the prodigal son this girl had brought him home_

Tate Yuuichi didn't put too much stock on fairytale endings despite having been a part of a rather gruesome little fairytale of his own in the past. But around two years had passed since that date and the fairytale had receded from his mind in favor of kendo practices, kendo meetings, and generally getting used to a much more pleasant student council room. There was no unholy terror rampaging around the schools under the guise of one Suzushiro Haruka. Her successor was an all-around much more agreeable person to work with. It didn't make their jobs any easier but at least Kikukawa Yukino didn't screech his ears off if something wasn't done by the books. But that was probably because Yukino was much busier trying not to rattle off excuses as to why their Kaichou was off playing hooky from school all the time.

That's right. Kuga Natsuki, all-around truant and rebel without a cause, was the Student Council President of Fuuka Gakuen. He still wasn't sure how that happened. There were some rumors about someone having rigged the election, but Yuuichi was pretty certain that the reason why Kuga won the election in an unprecedented landslide was because of one Fujino Shizuru. Hell, Yuuichi wasn't one to mince words and he could confidently say that the Kyoto beauty was probably the best of the best when it came to mixing beauty with wits. It wasn't as if she had to try all that hard, anyway—the second she came up to greet her Natsuki while the lone wolf was making a speech was enough to make the entire female populace of the school erupt into squeals. Yuuichi felt sorry for whoever was manning the poll booths during election day. In all he supposed that Natsuki did do a good job as President over the past year and a half. The budget was going steady and Fuuka was not growing short on its list of benefactors. Perhaps it was because of the various tea ceremonies the ex-Kaichou would participate in, but Yuuichi oftentimes spotted those same benefactors at the race course with the current Kaichou zipping by on expensive bikes and wowing them into ponying up even more cash.

Where did that leave him? Why, as Vice President of course. The second one Kanzaki Reito—on break from college and with an eager Mikoto in tow—opened his mouth to endorse him, he found himself sitting on a comfortable lead that took him straight from the polls and back into the student council room where he was now sitting in on a meeting.

Kuga seemed to be in a most wonderful mood on this relatively chilly fall day. She hummed something with a faint smile on her face as she drummed her fingers against the stack of papers in front of her. She wore the lighter beige jacket of the Kaichou and had given up the hoodie in favor of the white button-down shirt in order to maintain some sense of professionalism even if the shirt wasn't tucked. The sneakers remained but they were a newer pair after the soles on the previous wore out during summer break. No tie, tough. Ties were suffocating. The collar of her shirt splayed out in wide, crisp angles over her jacket, and the first two buttons were unbuttoned to reveal the sharp definition of her collarbone. Everything about her appearance pointed to "purposefully surly." All in all, a rather pretty picture of rebelliousness if Yuuichi could say so. There was no tea cup in front of her, only a heavy coffee mug and several sticks of peppermint gum laying beside it. He always wondered why she would never get any other type of gum, especially when he had a stick during a break. This brand had an awfully fake taste that smelled like the peppermint flavor one would associate with mouth wash. But she had her gum and coffee and all was seemingly right with the world.

Natsuki took this moment to push herself up from that outrageously comfortable Kaichou-chair and waved her coffee mug to capture Yukino's attention. The Kaichou mouthed something about being right back and gave a short salute of a wave. Yukino looked up from her laptop and afforded Natsuki a shy smile before returning to her typing. Right now they were in the middle of getting paperwork together before the winter holidays came about and scattered whatever sense of bureaucracy they had. It was bad enough that their Kaichou could only be spoken to if there was a dire emergency—or if they were fast enough to catch her Ducati—but they were also undermanned. No one had expressed interest in becoming a Secretary and quite frankly the current members of the council found no real need for one. The Executive Director Yukino wasn't too busy with her current job and had fallen back to her former position willingly with the other two bringing up loose ends. It was efficient enough to avoid missing deadlines but the strain was slowly starting to show itself and they knew that they would not survive exams and graduation if they didn't find a secretary. So this was what today's meeting was about.

Natsuki returned and set down a fresh cup of coffee in front of Yukino who took off her glasses and wiped them clean before setting them back on. She took the cup with another smile and carefully sipped on the liquid before Natsuki leaned back against the desk with her own mug in tow.

"So. You know why we're all here today even though it's a Friday afternoon and we all have club activities to go to," she began.

"No kidding. Aren't you supposed to be in the pool right now training for your swim meet tomorrow, Kuga?" Yuuichi asked from his seat.

Natsuki waved an impatient hand.

"This is the best time for us to meet before your Nationals in Kendo, Tate," Natsuki pointed out. "At least my meet is in Tokyo which will only take the weekend. You'll be in Kyoto for at least a week if not more, not to mention we'll be there as well to meet with the Fujino conglomerate."

"Ah, that's just a walk in the park," he replied with a sigh. "They're practically your family, Kuga."

Natsuki clasped her fingers in front of her nose and held this aggravated pose for a moment while Yukino adjusted her glasses with a smile.

"... Still, we have to maintain at least some sense of professionalism," Natsuki muttered.

"Hmm..." Suddenly Yuuichi's lips grew wide in a smile. "Don't tell me you're scared of meeting her parents."

"Idiot! This isn't the time for that!" She straightened and coughed into her fist. "Anyway... Yukino, do you have today's itinerary?"

Yukino returned to her laptop for a few seconds before nodding.

"Seems like the only item on the docket today is to discuss a possible candidate for the Secretary position," she announced.

Yuuichi frowned.

"Ah... how troublesome..."

"We can't keep stretching ourselves thin, especially not right now during our last year," Natsuki said, still in her serious-mode. "We'll be graduating at the end of this school year, and if we don't train anyone in our positions then the council will fall apart. You understand that much, don't you?"

"Yeah, I got it." Yuuichi leaned back and watched the wind shake the trees down for leaves. "Still... How're we going to go about doing this? We can't hold elections this late in the year."

"Yukino's compiled a list of conscientious students." Natsuki smacked a roll of papers on Yuuichi's chest. "And it's your job to interview them."

"What? Why?" He caught the papers before they scattered. Together they made quite the sizable packet. "Why me??"

"Hm? I have a swim meet this weekend," Natsuki replied. "I can't be bothered to look at that right now. I'm sure you'll pick a decent person who won't run the council to the ground next year."

"What?! You..."

"You have until Monday, so be sure to read through them all," Natsuki ordered before picking up her bag and motorcycle helmet.

Yuuichi watched with a mutinous glare as Natsuki gave a short wave before walking out of the room. He looked over for some salvation from the normally helpful Yukino, but the Executive Director gave a short apology and said something about going up to Fuuka University for the weekend. Something or another, he wasn't quite sure. As Yukino gathered her things and placed the room keys in Yuuichi's numb hand, he knew he was being pegged as the scapegoat. He could almost imagine the enraged Kaichou Monday morning if he didn't do as he was ordered. Yuuichi suppressed the shiver and slowly got up to pick up his things and lock down the Student Council room.

* * *

Kuga Natsuki was a bit of a celebrity in the swimming circles in the one hundred-meter freestyle event. As a senior in Fuuka Gakuen she managed to grab enough competition golds in freestyle and butterfly to decorate a good portion of the medal cabinet. The mixture of her rebellious reputation contrasting with her absolute focus in the pool earned her a fair portion of admirers and the nickname "Ice Silver Crystal" for her cold cutting strokes and streamlined dominance. And today's venue couldn't have been more packed. A good portion of Fuuka's students were able to make the commute down to Tokyo for this competition and they crammed a quarter of the pool's seating area with their banners and noise. Several rows down sat the headmistress of the school and several familiar faces. Kanzaki Reito offered his cheerful smiles to the screaming crowd and sat down next to a beautiful young woman with a familiar head of flaxen hair.

The crowd grew even louder as the announcer ran through the list of swimmers. Here were some big names, Olympic-sized hopefuls from decorated programs. The contestants were anxiously stretching and moving around as they waited. But Kuga Natsuki sat there on her chair behind the starting block, still in her training pants and with a huge pair of headphones clamped firmly on her ears and over the white swimming cap. Some heavy rap beats spilled out from the headphones as she nodded her head to the beat. She stared at the glimmering surface of the pool with what looked to be a very bored expression, and when she stood she made it seem like such a bothersome task. She shrugged off her training pants and kicked the little pile so that it settled under her chair. The mirrored goggles were settled over her eyes before she stretched her arms above her head and slowly moved from side to side.

The swimmers stepped onto the starting block and she took in a deep breath before expelling quickly. Her fingers gripped onto the edge of the starting block and she stiffened into her starting pose as the first cue sounded off. The small beep followed shortly and she exploded off the block, throwing her hands out in front of her and placing one above the other to stab her way into the water. Her entry was clean and immediately her body twisted as she went through several powerful dolphin kicks that brought her close to the surface. The crowd's screams were some strange amalgamation of dampened noise when she finally broke the surface to breathe. She was beyond the twenty-five meter mark by the time her arms got into gear. Her eyes stung and she stiffened—had water gotten into her goggles? Inwardly Natsuki cursed and doubled that curse when she felt water from another lane splash into hers.

Oh, that person was dead.

Natsuki tucked her body in and slammed both feet into the end of the pool before pushing herself through for the final lap. She would have to swim this lap partially blind, but that didn't scare her. Personally, she liked the color silver just fine, but this was no time to accommodate when she could just as easily settle for gold. She kept one eye open just a crack and immediately her body went into overdrive as the water stung her eye. The crowd just couldn't believe it. Yamasaki had a clear lead ahead of Kuga at the twenty-five meter mark. Somewhere in between the fifteen and ten-meter mark, however, Kuga had literally tucked her head in and somehow found the energy to keep pushing even as Yamasaki began to tire. Yamasaki glided in to the finish almost lazily, clearly not paying attention to Natsuki forcing her arm to push up and over the water. A fine arc of water splashed into Yamasaki's lane a split second before Natsuki's fingertips slammed into the electronic marker, a full hand's length ahead of Yamasaki.

The crowd was unbelievably deafening. The Fuuka section especially was in some form of pandemonium as students hollered and jumped up and down on their bleachers, throwing up their signs and celebrating the massive comeback win. Natsuki tugged her goggles off and shook them free of water, tossing them down on the deck in front of her. She rubbed at her eyes to clear them before staring up at the listed times while her limbs struggled to recover from that last push. Natsuki nodded once and turned over towards Yamasaki to give her formidable opponent a hug over the lane markers. Then she turned and pumped a fist up to the crowd's roaring delight, but her eyes were fixed on only one individual as she did so. Even as her teammates swarmed around her, crimson and clover stayed together in a virtual lock when Natsuki pointed one finger up to the ceiling.

Yuuichi watched the two from his seat. Of course he had been on his feet earlier, screaming off the top of his lungs at the charged race taking place below him. His limbs were still twitching in excitement, come to think of it. But Shizuru was rather calm, sitting there with her hands primly folded on her lap and a thoughtful look in her eyes. When Natsuki had pumped her fist and turned to acknowledge Shizuru, it was the first time in a while that Yuuichi actually saw the former Kaichou smile something beyond the accommodating smile she usually gave to her train of admirers. As the swimmers accepted their medals and walked down the length of the pool to the locker rooms, Shizuru stood and leaned over the railing that separated the spectators' area from the pool. Natsuki stopped in front of her and reached over slightly to hand her the small bouquet of flowers she received from the awards official. This lead to a fresh wave of squeals and whispers from the students behind Yuuichi, but he found himself smiling fondly as Natsuki grinned.

There were some shouts about a party, a celebration in the hotel and in downtown Roppongi for the night. This didn't mean that there was going to be a party for Yuuichi as he stared down at the papers he had packed in with the rest of his clothes. He glared at the packet and stuffed it to the bottom of his suitcase. Whatever. There would be time on the ferry home to Fuuka. As if on cue his cell phone shuddered to life and he stared at the front display before flicking the phone open and resting it against his ear.

"Yo, Mai."

Yuuichi frowned and tapped a pattern on the desk with his fingertips.

"Huh? Where am I? I thought I told you about the swim meet at Tokyo I was supposed to attend this weekend. Yeah, the one with Kuga. I didn't?"

He looked over at the desk and shuffled through the phone book that sat next to the telephone. His eyes settled on a take-out service and he quickly scribbled the number down.

"Are you sure? Eh... Sorry about that, then."

After closing the phone book he turned so he was facing the window.

"Hm... I dunno. Next ferry comes in tomorrow morning, why? Check-out's at 11. Mhmm. Don't worry, I'll be back in time. Uh huh... Yeah. Later."

He flipped his phone shut and tapped it against his chin for a few seconds before putting it back into his pocket. Yuuichi turned and looked at his suitcase before snorting and picking up his jacket. He needed some time to cool down. Yuuichi rounded the corner and ran into something that gave off a surprised yelp. He backed away to the wall and rubbed his nose, muttering a dulled apology that stopped short as he heard the faint snort of annoyance that sounded all too familiar.

"Tch, Watch were you're going, Tate. Did you finish your paperwork?"

Yuuichi opened his eyes and saw the ice cold Kaichou standing before him with her hands on her hips. Despite having been in the shower a faint hint of chlorine clung to her skin and hair. She was dressed casually in jeans and a fitted polo shirt with a leather jacket tucked under her arm. He took in her choice of wardrobe and raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, Kuga. Oh, you aren't going out?" he asked, completely ignoring her question and hoping she wouldn't bring it up once more.

"I might be downtown later but not out at the clubs if that's what you're thinking about," Natsuki replied. "We decided we were just going to catch some dinner and a late showing at the theater."

"Ah... a date?"

Natsuki laughed.

"Nah. Reito's here after all."

"Oh... Hm."

"And you? Don't skip over my question."

Yuuichi paused to recall just what the question was before he frowned and sighed in defeat.

"No, I didn't."

Natsuki made a noncommittal noise in her throat which could have meant anything. On a good day it would've been just a clear dismissal but on a bad day Yuuichi knew he was going to be in for it. They heard footsteps approach them. A young man and woman stood behind Natsuki with seemingly identical smiles. The man seemed to have just stepped out of a business meeting, still in a black suit with his jacket thrown over his shoulder and the cuffs of his shirt unbuttoned. The woman was wearing decidedly business-casual wear—a beige skirt that fell to her knees and a lavender blouse with the sleeves neatly rolled up to her elbows.

"Oh, good evening, Yuuichi-kun," Reito called with a curt nod in his direction.

"Good evening, Yuuichi-han," Shizuru greeted with a nod and smile.

Yuuichi bowed his head.

"Evening, Reito-sempai, Fujino-san."

"Tate here is trying to get out of doing work," Natsuki explained with a casual wave.

"What? Hey—"

"Ara, ara, it's fine isn't it?" Shizuru asked. "We are on a short break after all."

Yuuichi offered Shizuru a grateful smile at her intervention.

"Well... Would you like to spend the evening with us, then?" Reito offered suddenly. "We have an extra ticket for the theater and there's no sense in letting it go to waste since tonight is the expiration date. If that's alright with you two, of course."

Shizuru nodded and Natsuki shrugged.

"Sure, whatever."

Just like that, Yuuichi was roped into dinner and an extravagant movie theater for the night. The restaurant had a reputation for creating fast, delicious meals. Twenty minutes after placing their orders the perky waitress came rolling by with the trays of food and drinks. Natsuki took nearly a third of the tray to herself, devouring the egg-topped hamburger steaks and wolfing down three bowls of rice before taking a swig of water to polish it all off. Shizuru sat beside her and gracefully made her way through a bowl of udon. Reito brought up the other window seat to their booth with his racing through two massive bowls of oyakodon, leaving Yuuichi sitting in front of Shizuru with his lone bowl of katsudon. He watched Natsuki and Reito shovel away their food with his lips slightly parted in a mixture of awe and slight disgust over the two pigging out, but a small giggle from Shizuru caused his gaze to snap away from the two.

"The two had quite the busy day," she noted airily after finishing her dinner.

"No kidding..."

The udon bowl was promptly taken away and she settled on the steaming cup of tea the waitress had poured out. Shizuru turned briefly to tell Natsuki that chewing was indeed a pleasant activity to partake in—no one wanted to see a gob of steak fall back on the plate no matter how starving the swimmer was. Natsuki swallowed her current load of food and took slower bites this time around as Shizuru returned to her tea. Yuuichi looked down at his half-eaten bowl and dug in for a few minutes. For some reason he couldn't bring himself to look up into those knowing crimson eyes, but after a while the temptation proved to be too much and he set his chopsticks down once more on top of the finished bowl. He wondered for a moment if they were going to forget the dessert menu but the combination of shiny plastic and pastel colors was more than enough for Reito and Natsuki to latch onto it in their quest to fill their stomachs to the brim.

"... Can we afford all of this?" Yuuichi muttered as Natsuki and Reito eagerly chattered over the dessert menu.

A medium-sized plate of mango pudding topped with evaporated milk and strawberries and a parfait glass filled with sweet ice cream and piled high with fruit and an ice cream cone chip were delivered after the mountain of plates were removed. Instead of Natsuki using both spoons at the same time to shovel the rich pudding into her mouth like Yuuichi half-expected her to, she moved the plate so that it sat in between her and Shizuru. She offered a spoon to Shizuru and grinned.

"Dessert's on me," she said.

"Oh, so that means—"

"Pay for your own, Kanzaki!" Natsuki barked, cutting down Reito's attempt.

Reito chuckled and sighed.

"So much for that." He turned towards Yuuichi. "Would you like some ice cream? I'm not sure if I can finish all this on my own."

Yuuichi paused and looked at the dainty parfait glass.

"... Are you sure? You tucked away a pretty decent dinner just now," Yuuichi pointed out.

It wasn't that he didn't want some ice cream, but what kind of grown man shared a parfait with another grown man? Shizuru and Natsuki could get away sharing a sweet dessert and they had no problem looking revoltingly cute while eating spoonfuls of the rich dessert. He almost glared at them and their audacity as they spooned out mango chunks and creamy pudding. With a shake of his head he declined Reito's offer and Reito shrugged.

"Well... tell you what. You can have half. Is that alright?"

Yuuichi looked up at Reito's smiling face and his lips twitched as one of his hands curled into a loose fist. Why was he being so nice? They weren't friends, especially not with the conclusion of the Carnival. Reito was the big bad Obsidian Lord, the man in front of the entity who royally screwed over twelve girls and their most important persons. He was trying to take Mai away. Yuuichi had to fight him in order to save Mai and end that gruesome Carnival once and for all. So he shouldn't be sharing oxygen with this man let alone some ice cream. At least, that was a very nice way of putting his mixed feelings towards the black-haired man with golden eyes and an easy smile. Yuuichi stared at the parfait glass and the slowly-melting ice cream.

"... Yuuichi-kun?"

"Huh?" Brown eyes flickered in and out of deep thought before they finally refocused on Reito. "Sorry about that. It's alright, I'm pretty full as it is."

Reito shrugged and picked up a spoon before taking off the ice cream cone triangle wedged into the ice cream.

"Well, if you say so," Reito said before scooping out a portion of ice cream with his tiny dessert spoon.

Yuuichi watched his sempai eat the dessert a little more daintily than he did his dinner, which wasn't saying much. Perhaps Natsuki was trying to remain courteous to Shizuru or maybe she really was exceedingly full after eating three hamburger steaks and bowls of rice, but in either case the amount of pudding came out to be just right between the two of them. Reito rubbed his stomach idly as he pushed the empty parfait glass away from him.

"Ah... that was a bit much," he remarked with an uneasy grin. "I think I overdid it tonight."

"Good thing we're not taking the subway over to Shinjuku for tonight's film," Natsuki remarked as the waitress handed them a bill. "Ugh... Maybe we did overdo it."

"Hm? Do we not have enough?" Shizuru asked as she peered over Natsuki's shoulder.

"No, we do. But still... Hm. Oh well. Tate, we're going to write this down as a Student Council expense," Natsuki announced in her authoritative tone.

"Huh. Wait a second, we can't do that," Yuuichi said. "What will Yukino-san say to that?"

"Pfft, don't pussy out on us. Besides, all things are decided by a majority vote, right? All those in favor raise their hands."

"That doesn't matter, it'd be a tie—"

Three hands shot up at this request. Yuuichi turned and stared at Reito and Shizuru who had their hands up along with Natsuki.

"You can't vote," Yuuichi argued in an incredulous tone. "You're not even in the Student Council anymore!"

"Ara, ara... No need to raise your voice, Yuuichi-han," Shizuru said in dulcet tones. Suddenly her smile took on a darker note. "We may not be a part of the Student Council anymore but that doesn't mean we're completely exempt from the decision making process as alumni."

"Remember, Yuuichi-kun, these are two future potential backers of Fuuka Gakuen sitting with you," Reito added with another flash of white teeth.

Yuuichi turned and gave Natsuki an exasperated glare that she returned with a not-so-apologetic shrug.

"Then it's settled."

She dug out a worn leather wallet from her pocket and flipped through it to extract a debit card. The waitress rang it up and wished them a good evening as they gathered up their jackets, opened the doors and walked out into the chilly evening air. Ten minutes worth of idle chatter and walking took them to the movie theater but to their dismay the movies that were being shown were at least several months old. The four of them pulled themselves aside near a street corner and put their heads together, speaking in low murmurs and consulting a train map Reito had stashed in his pocket.

"You think we should try the subway to Shinjuku?" Natsuki asked. "We have more than enough money for the tickets."

"Whatever we decide we better decide soon," Reito noted as he consulted his watch.

After a round of nods the four broke apart and made their way underground to the subway station. They bought their tickets and scanned them in before hopping onto the designated train. The evening crowd was thinning somewhat to make way for the night crowd that hopped in for the bars and clubs that were now starting up for the night. They managed not to be crammed into a corner when the subway finally did fill in, although Yuuichi felt that he was standing a little too close to these warm bodies than he would have liked. His nose tickled with the faint scent of chlorine mixing with jasmines as dark blue hair mingled with flaxen locks. A rather short breath was taken, desperately trying not to be a gasp in light of their surroundings.

"Ah, not here..."

Kuga definitely didn't sound like she didn't want it, though. Yuuichi swallowed thickly. Then came a rather amused giggle and Yuuichi forced himself to tear his gaze away as the ex-Kaichou and current Kaichou pressed against one another. Reito cleared his throat and shifted to the side, effectively blocking the two from the rest of the general populace. The former Vice-President gave a "can't be helped" shrug towards Yuuichi who in turn rolled his eyes. The ride was mercifully short for the men. They nimbly skipped out and Natsuki stumbled out with her hand rubbing her cheek. Curiously enough she was not as red as a tomato, but Yuuichi appeared to have thought this a moment too soon when Shizuru appeared behind Natsuki and fixed the collar of her polo shirt, effectively hiding what looked to be a hickey.

"Honestly..."

"You say something, Tate?" Natsuki snapped.

"Nothing, nothing," Yuuichi sighed. He decided not to push it too much. "So. What's the movie we're supposed to watch?"

"Mh... The theater has several films playing and these tickets are good for a general admission. So watch whatever," Natsuki replied with a dismissive wave.

Yuuichi was about to protest when he felt a hand clamp over his shoulder. Natsuki and Shizuru seemingly melted into the chattering crowd when Reito directed Yuuichi's attention to himself.

"They haven't had a date since Kuga-san's strict training for this meet," Reito explained.

"... But they live together," Yuuichi pointed out. "Doesn't that count as one large date?"

"They weren't always this happy together," Reito noted, this time without his easy smile.

_They never smiled... not once... until their vices ended._

Yuuichi absently scratched his cheek.

"I don't get it."

"Ah, nevermind. Now... Do you have any preference or will we catch a simple action flick?"

Yuuichi stared at the billboard indicating the films and times, but he wasn't really interested in a film. With a sigh he shrugged and Reito seemingly took that as his answer as he walked over to the ticket booth and showed their tickets. The movie wasn't important. All Yuuichi could remember was the booming noise of gunshots firing off at the speakers and the enthralled expressions of the audience who were glued to the screen. Even Reito seemed slightly impressed as he watched the film, but all Yuuichi could do was rest his chin on his palm and count the minutes away until one hundred and twenty-five of them passed, not counting credits and the advertisements in the beginning. By the time they stumbled their way out into the bright light, Shizuru and Natsuki were waiting for them. They were apparently in the middle of some deliberation by the time Reito and Yuuichi made their way towards the two.

"Is something the matter?" Reito asked quietly.

"No, but we're kinda tired," Natsuki admitted. "I think we're going to catch the next subway back and call it a night. Now, I'm sure I don't have to tell you two to stay out of trouble, right?"

"Not so long as you stay out of it yourself," Yuuichi replied cheekily.

"Hn. Well, have fun, boys."

Hand in hand the two left and Yuuichi could swear that he saw identical grins cross the lips of what was now deemed the "Kaichou-couple." He tucked his hands in his pockets and gave a leer towards the leaving couple.

"Figures."

Reito chuckled at Yuuichi's comment.

"I guess we're free, then. What would you like to do?"

Yuuichi thought about it for a moment as they walked out of the theater and onto the streets.

"... I dunno. I'm kinda tired myself."

"I see. Want to get something to drink before we head back, then?"

"Sure."

The 7-11 was only a few minutes walk from the theater. They walked in and crowded around the colorful assortment of drinks, finally picking up small cartons of milk that they paid for separately. The two young men walked down the busy streets of this never-asleep city, sucking up milk through the tiny straws punched into the cardboard cartons. When the relative noise increased due to walking down to the subways, Reito squeezed his carton shut and tossed it into a trash bin.

"Well, this was a good night," Reito announced cheerily as they bought their tickets and swiped them through.

Silence was his only response until the two stepped into the waiting subway. Then Yuuichi turned and stared up at his sempai who was still several centimeters taller than him despite Yuuichi's growth spurt over the years. Those kind, accepting golden eyes caused him to narrow his own eyes.

"Why're you being so nice?" he asked in a low voice.

"Hm? I don't see why not," Reito replied as he raised an eyebrow.

"... I don't need it," Yuuichi muttered.

"Don't misunderstand, Yuuichi-kun. I know how you feel about me." That smile never left those lips. "But it's a little immature for us to remain standing still when everyone else is changing, isn't it?"

But Yuuichi turned away then, and he saw nothing but the flashing lights racing past as the subway raced down the tracks.

* * *

Fuuka was a welcome sight despite the hustle and bustle of Tokyo. Yuuichi had never felt so exhausted by simply existing. But here, with the calm ocean air and the quiet peace of the town, he felt free. Free, except for the papers in his suitcase. His hands grasped onto the railing of the ferry taking him and various other Fuuka students back home. For a wild moment he figured he could get away with chucking his suitcase into the sea and calling it a day, but that wouldn't do. He settled instead for staring out at the calm ocean, not even noticing when someone stopped right next to him.

"Oi, Tate. Make sure you get that paperwork done by Wednesday, then."

He turned and registered his Kaichou as she too stared out into the open waters.

"Wednesday? I thought you wanted it done tomorrow?"

Natsuki shrugged.

"That's a little impossible now that I thought about it. After all, that's nearly thirty people you'll have to interview."

"... Thirty..."

"Don't be so down! Sunday is still a holiday after all."

"Hey, Kuga..."

"Hm?"

"... How do you know Fujino-san is the one for you?"

"What's this, all of the sudden?"

"Just answer my question, Kuga."

Natsuki paused. This was not a pause where one did not know the answer, Yuuichi realized. Instead Natsuki's eyes were alight in a fierce emotion that simply could not be put into words. He watched her lips twitch for a second before she finally shook herself out of her contemplative daze.

"Well, it's simple, isn't it?" She smiled. "Do you see her standing there?"

He turned and followed her gaze over towards a spot several meters away. Shizuru was standing there now talking with Reito. The sea breeze played with the ends of her hair, bringing them up and away as she tried to tuck several wayward strands behind her ear.

"She's gentle when I can't be. We hurt each other enough in the past—a lesser individual would've given up right then and there. But I know that if I wake up the next day without her here with me, I'd die."

"You can't be serious about the dying part, Kuga..."

Natsuki shrugged.

"Take it for what you will. I spent way too much time trying to hide myself away and it almost did us both in. In some ways we still have a few bumps to iron out, but I know that we can go to bed happy and wake up happy. Honestly happy. A lot of people would want that, wouldn't they?"

She pushed herself off the railing. She didn't ask the question that Yuuichi secretly wanted her to ask, and somewhere deep down he began to resent her for it. But there was no reason to resent someone like Kuga Natsuki. She worked hard for her goals and finally was on the right track. Yuuichi knew these facts but couldn't help it. He tore his gaze away from the reunited couple and returned to the sea.

_Are you happy?_

The ferry arrived at Fuuka and he nearly jumped off in his haste to get out. Along the way he hopped onto a bus and rode out the route back towards the academy. He threw his things into his dorm room and paused, wondering what was next.

Well, that wasn't much of a deliberation.

Three minutes and two knocks later, the door was opened to reveal the curious face of one Tokiha Mai. Curiousness melted into a certain fondness as Yuuichi rubbed the back of his neck and waved.

"I'm back."

"Welcome back," Mai greeted, stepping away to let him in.

Yuuichi paused as he heard no pitter-patter of spastic footsteps around the room.

"Mikoto isn't here?" he asked.

"Nope. She won't be back until later tonight." Mai tucked her apron away and took a seat beside Yuuichi. "Want something to eat? I just finished making some lunch but I can make some more if you want."

"Yeah, that'd be nice."

Lunch for the day was side dishes along with rice but Yuuichi didn't mind. Whatever Mai made was instantly delicious. He packed away the lunch and set his chopsticks down with a satisfied sigh before he looked over at Mai. She looked especially pretty today, he mused, but she was pretty everyday regardless. Still... his mind slowly grew blank as he studied his girlfriend. That's right, girlfriend. Going strong for almost two years now, isn't that an accomplishment? Two years and nothing more traumatic than a few squabbles here and there. And yet... Yuuichi felt his hands curl into fists.

"... Yuuichi?"

"Ah... I'm sorry, Mai." He smiled uneasily. "I guess I'm tired or something..."

He felt those kind hands press their palms against his cheeks and he nearly tore himself away from the sensation of skin against skin. But he steeled himself for this even as he stared into those confused violet eyes that he had grown to love so much. Wait, love? What was that, anyway? What was this strange pulling where his heart was supposed to be?

"Are you sure you're alright?" Mai asked softly.

Yuuichi nodded and looked away, waiting until Mai let go of him before he could trust himself to speak once more.

"I'm alright, don't worry."

Mai sighed and nodded.

"Yeah..."

He smiled slightly and got up. Mai followed him to the door, but before she could tell him good-bye he turned and grasped onto her shoulders. She stiffened but relaxed as she felt his lips brush up against her own. They kissed again before he withdrew and offered a more honest smile this time.

"Thanks for lunch," he murmured. "I'll see you tomorrow."

She nodded and felt his lips against her forehead before he turned and opened the door.

Yuuichi refused to spare a glance at the door he knew was still open until he was far enough away to be unable to make out those violet eyes. When he did he felt somewhat disappointed to see that the door was now closed. He merely sighed and walked back to his own room. After a moment of hesitation he decided that his clothes would be unpacked later. The stack of papers were on his desk, already out and ready to be read. He grabbed roughly half of the papers and settled down on his bed, splaying the papers all around him as he flicked through several of the papers. In twenty minutes nearly half of the candidates were sitting in a somewhat neat pile underneath a small sheet of paper on which he wrote "Rejected" in big block characters. This left him with a pretty decent amount of papers to dig through, and it was now well into evening until he finally settled on four possible candidates. He paused as he flipped to the last candidate, for the first time looking at the picture attached to the qualifications.

"... Shiho?"

* * *

"Kaichou-san..."

"Ah, I'm not going to answer you when you start calling me that," Natsuki replied in a bored tone as she kicked her feet up against the desk.

Yukino fidgeted as she stood in front of the desk but Natsuki paid her no heed as she flipped through a colorful motorcycle magazine, complete with a hot babe parked up next to a new sports model on the cover. Interestingly enough the woman's face was already doodled on with a black marker. A rather impressive portrait of Captain Hook stared back at Yukino, complete with D-cup boobs and a black string bikini. Yukino guessed that it was Shizuru who had done it—after all, Natsuki did not have the patience to scribble out a grizzly pirate face in such a meticulous manner and make the whole thing surprisingly work. She shook her head to get herself out of that daze before she took in a deep breath.

"... Natsuki-san!"

"Hm? What's up, Yukino?" Natsuki said, now in an interested tone as the Executive Director looked down at her with what looked to be an exasperated frown.

"... Honestly..." Yukino adjusted her glasses. "Tate-kun has narrowed his list down to four candidates and he asked if he could bring them here so they could be interviewed by all of us while we're still in the room."

"Troublesome..." Natsuki sighed and unrolled a stick of gum from its aluminum wrapper. She offered one to Yukino who refused, earning her a shrug as Natsuki folded the gum into her mouth. "Fine, fine, bring in the candidates."

Out of the four Natsuki only recognized the vibrant shock of pink hair belonging to one Munakata Shiho. Yuuichi didn't seem especially thrilled as he stood there with his hands tucked into the pockets of his black Vice President uniform. Natsuki sighed and pushed herself up from the desk in order to walk around the assorted candidates like a drill sergeant would to a group of cadets fresh off the bus. The magazine she rolled up into a tight cylinder before she motioned towards the candidates with it.

"Well, we'll interview you one at a time, so the rest of you will wait outside as... Mishima, right? Right. Mishimi-san will go first."

The other three nodded and obediently waited outside. This interview was a bust as soon as Mishima, a slight girl with glasses, admitted that she wasn't terribly interested in the Secretary position. She was just in to be in the same room as Kuga-sama, to which Natsuki waved her away and summoned the next candidate. This next girl was pushed away when her brusque speech and question about a salary caused the three to groan and signal on the next one. Things were going well for the first year Yamagata until she was sat in front of a computer keyboard. Regretfully they let her go after two minutes of hemming and hawing in front of the computer. This led to the last candidate, and the three of them steeled themselves for it.

Not everyone got along after the Carnival, after all. Munakata Shiho had built quite the reputation for herself inside the Hime circle with her rude manners to everyone and outright antagonism towards Tokiha Mai. This already set off enough alarms in Natsuki's head but as Kaichou she had to remain fair and balanced. The other issue was with Yuuichi's involving with the two of them, but as soon as he nodded that he was ready, Yukino opened the door and let Shiho in.

"Morning, Munakata," Natsuki said. "As you know, this position is a pretty hard one, so try your best and let's see what you can do."

Surprisingly she offered no snide remark to that. Yukino ran through the prepared list of questions and Shiho answered them quickly and cleanly without any backtalk. Natsuki and Yuuichi watched her with curious expressions when Shiho sat herself down at the computer and typed for a minute under Yukino's watch. After that Shiho stood up and bowed her head slightly. Yukino motioned Natsuki and Yuuichi over for a small discussion.

"She fits all our qualifications," Yukino announced in a whisper.

"Hm... She's the only one that managed to do so," Natsuku murmured. She turned towards Yuuichi. "Well? What do you think?"

"Me?" Yuuichi asked.

"Yeah. After all I don't think Yukino and I will have any problems with her being our Secretary, but I just want to make sure before we say yes."

Tate crossed his arms across his chest and frowned. Well, why not. They needed someone for this job, otherwise the three of them would be run ragged by the end of the year. This was alright, wasn't it? Still, he stared over at Shiho and returned to his brooding. He hoped that regardless, she was a changed person. Hopefully. He nodded towards Natsuki and the group broke apart as the Kaichou looked at Shiho.

"Can you make coffee?"

"I know how to work a coffee maker," Shiho replied.

"Good. Then you're hired."

When Shiho smiled, Yuuichi felt his heart twinge. Wait, what was this? He nearly panicked as he sat down on a chair and watched Shiho skip off to class. No, this couldn't be... could it?

"Tate?"

"I'm fine," Yuuichi responded automatically.

Natsuki frowned.

"If you have a problem with this you can say so and we'll find someone else to take this job," she said.

Yuuichi shook her head and Natsuki shrugged before going back to her chair at the head of the room. A few minutes later the doors opened once more to reveal the former Kaichou and Vice President, along with another familiar face.

"KUGA!! The desk is not a loot chest!!"

Natsuki jumped at the bellow and nearly ducked under her desk before remembering that she was the Kaichou now. She turned and faced the wild blonde hair of fury standing before her.

"Oh, crap..."

"Foot rest, Haruka-chan."

Suzushiro Haruka's train of thought completely jumped track as she turned and faced Yukino. A genuine smile splashed across her face as she nearly bounded over towards the slightly bemused girl.

"Oh, Yukino!"

Natsuki sighed in relief before turning towards Shizuru. Yuuichi noticed that all three former members were dressed in business attire, although Haruka looked more like a policewoman than a business person with her aggravated stances and hand gestures. Shizuru on the other hand made any outfit look outrageously sexy. Yuuichi swallowed as he took in the black pinstriped skirt and matching suit jacket over a burgundy blouse. Her hair was piled up into a bun and a set of reading glasses were tucked into her jacket pocket. Reito rounded out the suited trio with a gray suit, dark blue shirt and white tie.

"This is a surprise," Natsuki said. "Were you in a meeting with the headmistress?"

"It would appear as if she required some of our help in administrative duties," Shizuru replied. "Our meeting broke for lunch so we decided to pay this room a visit."

Those hands came together so easily, Yuuichi found. So freely. Haruka turned and snorted her disapproval.

"Hey! No unwanted displays of affection!" she ordered.

Natsuki clucked her tongue disapprovingly as she kept her fingers intertwined with Shizuru's. Haruka shook her fist at Natsuki and sputtered some words that Yuuichi had stopped paying attention to as soon as she opened her mouth to speak. Instead his eyes were focused on those hands until they looked down onto his own hands. How simple would it be to just hold Mai's hand like that? To hold her hand without thinking, to look back and smile without worrying that it wasn't just a lie? He looked up, then, and saw those familiar eyes of Reito—was he an enemy? Did he dream of doing the same to Mai? But Reito did not smile, and soon that thought melted in favor of a disturbing silence until Reito turned to acknowledge Natsuki.

"So, Kaichou-san..."

"Yes?" Natsuki and Shizuru asked at the same time.

"Sorry... Kuga-san?"

"Yeah? What is it?"

"Have you found a new Secretary?" Reito asked.

"We have. Munakata Shiho."

All Yuuichi noticed was the fact that Shizuru blinked at the mention of the name. It didn't matter how much Haruka was squabbling over the choice of such a "strange-minded individual" or how Reito was trying to calm Haruka down with his hand waves and his "there, there" sentiments. All he would remember from this day was that strange blink. What was she thinking? Oh, how strange? Or was she thinking, why on earth would someone like her want to take this position? Are you sure, Natsuki? All those questions were spoken from Shizuru's voice as they tumbled down in Yuuichi's mind.

"Are you sure, Yuuichi-kun?"

Yuuichi nearly missed the question the first time it was spoken. He turned and looked at Reito.

"... I'm sure."

He was sure. He had to be sure.

* * *

Kyoto was several days away. He watched his teammates go through their drills as he sat a little ways away already done up in his armor. The ties were a little tighter than he would have liked but it was alright if he was still able to breathe. His opponent for the day was a familiar face despite not having been on campus since his graduation. Regardless, Takeda Masashi was still every bit as formidable as he had known him to be, and the former leader of the kendo club was not about to let this budding champion go so easily. They were only going to do several back and forth drills for today. Takeda got into a ready stance with his _shinai_ already out while Yuuichi stood and readied his _shinai_. The hits were crisp and clean with every step taken back and forth, but Takeda could see that Yuuichi was already preoccupied and falling into a predictable pattern. He frowned and twisted his trajectory at the last minute. Instead of hitting Yuuichi's _shinai_ he hit his gauntlet, startling Yuuichi and causing him to refocus.

"Don't daydream," Takeda instructed with a smile.

Yuuichi nodded and resumed his attack. Ten minutes of this passed before they took a short break and walked out towards the water fountains. After drinking their fill Yuuichi looked up as Takeda made a strange noise at the back of his throat. Upon looking at where Takeda was looking, Yuuichi found out why.

"Damn, Kaichou got to leave early today," Yuuichi muttered as the Ducati roared past them.

"Kaichou?" Takeda repeated to himself.

"Yeah. Kuga was elected to take over for Fujino-san," Yuuichi explained as they walked back to the dojo.

Then he remembered the strange look in Takeda's eyes and he paused before turning around.

"My bad, Takeda-sempai."

"Hm? Oh, you're talking about her." Takeda let loose a string of chuckles. "To be honest, I used to be outrageously infatuated with her."

"... You still aren't?"

Takeda picked up his _shinai_ and tossed Yuuichi his weapon. Yuuichi caught it and frowned before they tapped the _shinai_ together.

"Kuga-san is a beautiful young woman," Takeda announced. His smile never quite left. "But I'm not the one for her heart. She sent me a rejection letter, you know. Thank you, I'm sorry."

"That's kinda short," Yuuichi commented.

"Ah, but it's honest. It wasn't easy, but I accepted it because she was honest about it. No flowery or emotional speech, just those two sentences."

Yuuichi stepped back to avoid being pummeled by Takeda's onslaught.

"Is that really better?" Yuuichi asked, panting.

"Better to be honest and work through the trouble than be dishonest and thrilled without knowing why," Takeda remarked before breaking through Yuuichi's defenses and landing a point on top of his head protector.

"And that's the match." Takeda clapped his _shinai_ against Yuuichi. "You're daydreaming too much, Tate. Is something wrong?"

He decided. This would be the one he would talk to.

"Hey, sempai."

"Yeah?"

"... How do you know you're happy?"

"Hm..." Takeda scratched the back of his neck. "Well uh... I don't know how to explain. It's different for everyone."

Yuuichi undid his head protector and laid it on the floor beside him. He mopped up the sweat from his face and neck with the small towel he had wrapped around his head. The white and blue towel quickly wicked the sweat away from him and he sighed before draping the towel over his shoulder and hunkering down to untie the rest of his armor.

"What about you? Are you happy?"

"Hm! I can say I am. I have a roof over my head, my studies are doing alright, and the club here hasn't gone to pieces with me gone. So yes, I'm happy." Takeda paused. "You seem rather keen. What's on your mind?"

"... Would you be happier if you had Kuga with you?"

"... What is this all of the sudden. Now you're expecting me to take everything back, aren't you?" Takeda laughed a clear, strong laugh. "You must have me mistaken for someone else. Well, let me ask you something then. Would you be happy caging in an exotic creature just to admire its beauty everyday?"

"Huh? Oh... no, I don't think I would be. I guess the creature would be upset too come to think of it."

"Then there's your answer." Takeda helped undo the chest protector before setting it aside. "She's a special case, someone that's really only meant to be looked at from afar. If she's found someone by now and she probably has, then I would wish them the best of luck. It's awful sometimes, but I'm used to it now."

This was not a defeated man he was speaking to. Perhaps in the past he would have been speaking to a vulnerable individual who had just been beaten in the one battlefield where the strongest did not necessarily win, but this Takeda Masashi was sitting here laughing more freely than Yuuichi could in the past several years.

_Wish them the best of luck._

Yuuichi shook his head and frowned. He wanted to say something more, to explain what the strange weight settling in his mind was, but Takeda shifted and dug his cell phone out of his pocket.

"Ah, I overstayed," Takeda announced suddenly as he looked at the phone's clock. "Sorry, we'll have to continue conversation this later. I'm supposed to go out to dinner tonight."

"Eh? You have a girlfriend, sempai?" Yuuichi asked, stunned.

"Don't look so surprised," Takeda replied, looking a touch miffed. Then he smiled. "She and I have been seeing each other from time to time on study dates, and tonight we're just going to dinner before catching up on a project. Nothing special about it."

The way he rubbed his head and smiled denied everything. Yuuichi felt his lips grow into a smile as he stood and patted his senior on his shoulder.

"Have fun then, sempai."

Takeda waved and jogged out of the dojo.

They never did continue their talk.

* * *

It was six hours before he had to get back on that ferry, but he was wide awake. After a few minutes of wasting time he finally pushed himself up to his feet and walked out the door. Three minutes and two knocks later, the door opened to reveal a sleepy Mai, already dressed in her pajamas for the night. She blinked and registered the face of her boyfriend before frowning softly.

"Yuuichi? What're you doing here so—"

"Are you happy, Mai?" Yuuichi blurted out.

Mai stared at Yuuichi for a second before clearing her throat.

"... What?"

"Are you happy?"

"I... I guess so." Her voice, still thick with sleep, grew thoughtful. "Yuuichi, don't tell me you ran all the way here to ask me that sort of question."

"I couldn't help it," Yuuichi muttered. "I had to ask."

"Well... I guess I can't blame you. Sure, I'm happy. Is that all?"

"... Do you love me?"

Now Mai stared up at Yuuichi with a hint of disbelief etched in her eyes.

"Of course! Of course I do! Yuuichi, are you alright?"

Yuuichi frowned and Mai let him in, closing the door behind them. He sat down at the edge of her bed and she sat down beside him before she flicked a lamp on. Interestingly enough, the other bed was empty and he stared at it for a moment before turning back towards Mai.

"Mikoto isn't here again?" Yuuichi asked.

"Reito-san is in town, so he takes care of her," Mai replied. "Yuuichi, stop trying to avoid my question."

"Yeah..."

He folded his hands together and stared at the empty bed once more.

"Hey, Mai..."

"Hm...?"

"How do you know I'm the one for you?"

Mai stopped her humming and stayed silent for a moment. Yuuichi's shoulders bunched up as he sat there in the stillness.

"Well... I don't. But I'm sure that we're the ones for each other." She took his clenched hands. "There's no one else, Yuuichi, but you and me. Is that not enough?"

Maybe he should have asked her then. It would have been innocent enough. Maybe he should have just tossed her onto the bed and had his way with her until the morning light. That was an exciting thought and not embarrassing in the least. It wasn't as if they hadn't done it before. Despite the raging assumption that Kuga and Fujino were the most sexually active out of everyone in the little Hime group, Mai and Yuuichi had their rounds as well. It was a healthy relationship. Going at it like rabbits wasn't going to solve anything, but at that very moment Yuuichi sorely wished that it could have. She seemed to have guessed at his thoughts with the way she was rubbing his hands with her thumbs, but he shook his head and pulled his hands away.

"I'm sorry, I was being strange," Yuuichi babbled out.

Mai watched silently as he stood and tried to collect himself. Before he could leave, however, he felt something tug at his shirt sleeve. He looked down at Mai and the strange quality of her violet eyes. He knew what she was going to say, but he continued to shake his head at it.

"I can't, I need to be on that ferry in six hours. Mai..."

But he allowed himself to be pushed down onto that bed. He allowed himself to feel that hot sweet breath that tickled his neck along with strands of fiery hair. His arm lifted and his fingers weaved themselves into those strands of melted copper, letting their softness swish against his fingertips.

"Let me make you feel happy, Yuuichi," she whispered into his ear before his mind went curiously blank.

_Are you happy?_

_I have to be happy._

* * *

Yuuichi ran towards the docks with his bags in tow. Up on the deck he could feel those emerald eyes glaring at him fiercely but he paid them no heed as he quickly tossed his ticket to the ticket booth and ran up into the ferry. It was only when he finally set his bags down that Natsuki appeared in front of him.

"Be that late again and I'll throw you across the bay to Kyoto myself!" Natsuki roared before turning on her heel and stomping off.

Yuuichi scratched his head and sighed.

"Jeez..."

When he was sure the Kaichou was far enough away—or enamored enough with her Shizuru not to notice, whichever came first—Yuuichi leaned over to the railing and watched Fuuka begin to creep away. When he did, however, he saw a familiar head of copper hair in the distance, along with a frantically-waving hand. He waved as well, just as strongly, until he could see that beautiful face no more. Then he turned around and leaned against the railing with an explosive sigh.

Kendo, right. Have to think about Kendo.

He nodded to himself and tilted his head up to the vast blue sky above him. He was going to spend a week in Kyoto, away from the love of his life and away from the lingering doubts that stuck with him. Maybe he could solve whatever it was that was holding him back. No one was going to stop him. Not the Kaichou-couple, not Reito, and certainly not...

"Onii-chan!"

Yuuichi threw his gaze down so that it focused on pink hair bouncing towards him. He lowered it a fraction more so that it focused on those honey-brown eyes of the girl he once could not stand. Interestingly enough he found himself smiling at the sight of another familiar face that he had not seen much of after the Carnival. Shiho seemed to have ditched the sausage hairstyle in favor of simply keeping her hair down, and the look was good for her. Yuuichi frowned at his own thoughts. Where did that come from? Well, it didn't do to keep someone waiting.

"Shiho, I thought I told you not to call me that," Yuuichi said.

Shiho appeared to want to say something about it but she stopped herself and instead shook her head.

"You're right. Then... Yuuichi-kun."

Yuuichi felt his brow twitch but not from annoyance.

What was this feeling?

The ferry's horn blared into the decidedly foggy seas as it churned through the uneasy waters to take them away from home.

* * *

AN: Hm. Maybe 1 part left to go, maybe 2. Depends on how much emotion these characters bring out.

On another note, Winter's Road should be updated sometime soon, within the next couple of days.

Please let me know what you think!


	2. Chapter 2

Good morning, Author here. Thank you for the reviews! I'm surprised I got as many as I did, hahaha.

It seems like there will be a third part, after all.

Mai-hime belongs to Sunrise, and the again the lyrics in the end belong to Eve 6 - On the Roof Again

* * *

This was a different environment from the ruckus that echoed across swimming pools. The still silence caused Natsuki to twitch slightly, only to jump when someone let loose a garbled war cry that always ended up sounding like a hoarse shriek. Immediately afterwards this noise would be followed by the painful clap of bamboo against bamboo along with the declaration of whether or not this registered as a hit. Then the combatants would scamper around until they were in front of each other again to resume this strange dance until another hit was called. So they were judged on where they hit the opponent, that much Natsuki could follow. She had enough experience fighting on the streets and saving her ass plenty of times to know the difference between a clean hit and a sloppy one. Apparently the clean hits in this sort of competition were at the throat, top of the head, the gloves, and the sides. She kept note of that and easily picked out the good hits from the bad. But what was with this beauty quotient? The hit had to be graceful, but Natsuki wasn't aware that a fight was required to be graceful. All she knew was that the person who needed to go down wasn't her if she wanted to wake up the next morning with her limbs intact. Watching these costumed men swatting at each other with bamboo swords made her feel somewhat lost in this control and splendor of history.

Shizuru seemed mildly engaged as she watched the proceeding fight, but it may have also been because of the sight of similar light brown hair of the middle-aged man seated near the judging table dressed in the traditional white _gi_ and navy-blue _hakama_ of a kendo practitioner. The Fujino family was a well-known staple in these traditional arts, especially in their home city of Kyoto. While they were better known for their expertise in Daitō-ryū Aiki-jūjutsu, the predecessor to the modern art of Aikido, Shizuru's father was also an expert practitioner in kendo. He sat there with a rather unimpressed expression on his face as he watched these high schoolers scream in exertion with their bamboo blades swinging and clapping against armor and in some unfortunate cases unprotected limbs. This expression was mirrored in Natsuki's face and Shizuru could not help but smile at her girlfriend as she struggled to remain at least somewhat engaged in the proceedings. Shizuru leaned forward and placed a hand on Natsuki's knee, jerking the bored girl out of her unfocused state. Natsuki blinked and looked over.

"I know this isn't your interest," Shizuru said with a smile. "But thank you for lasting as long as you are."

Natsuki offered a half-hearted shrug but her hand easily found Shizuru's. Their fingers played with one another for a second before settling into a comfortable hold.

"Besides," Shizuru continued as she directed Natsuki's gaze down. "Otou-han has a similar expression on his face. I dare say the two of you would get along. You seem similar enough."

"W-What makes you say that?" Natsuki whispered, turning slightly nervous. "He looks like he's about ready to take those two boys out and stomp out of the competition."

"I wouldn't be too worried, Natsuki. He's just a bit... annoyed."

"... Annoyed?"

Shizuru sighed and chuckled.

"Let's just say that this event is taking time away from watching the world heavyweight boxing championship on satellite."

Natsuki blinked when Shizuru easily shrugged and returned to watching the end of the bout. Boxing? That was something she could easily talk about. For a while she had wondered if there really was a safe topic to expound on when faced with the Fujino patriarch, but now that doubt diminished with the simple albeit somewhat unexpected admission on Shizuru's part. With a soft sigh of relief she too returned to watching the competitors take their final bows towards the panel of three judges right before the winner was declared with the raising of a flag. Shizuru blinked.

"Ara... It appears we lost this round," she announced softly amidst the raucous cheers of the victor's high school.

"Huh?"

"Mm... We're tied, now." Shizuru motioned towards the small placard in front of the judges. "See that? We are currently tied in terms of singular matches against the other school. Now there will be an extra match where we will pick our strongest representative and have him fight their strongest representative. Most likely it will be a battle of captains."

"I see." Natsuki squinted. "Well, that means Tate will fight again. But he should do alright. He took care of that other guy pretty easily I thought."

"We will have to see. That high school has a reputation for bringing along a trump card if need be." Shizuru frowned. "Ara, this is interesting."

"What is it now?" Natsuki inquired.

"Otou-han doesn't look so bored anymore."

Natsuki blinked and looked down. Sure enough, those bored maple-red eyes were now alight in some sort of faint curiosity mixed in with a sense of caution. Natsuki wondered on what that caution could be associated with until she directed her gaze over at the gather participants. Yuuichi looked ready enough as he brought his _shinai_ down and assumed the customary squatting position in front of his opponent. His opponent looked to be around the same height with nondescript features. Natsuki was not so interested in him, but when she looked down at Yuuichi again she began to frown. His breathing seemed a bit quick—was he injured? No, that couldn't be. She ran the options across until she settled on what seemed to be the most unlikely yet the most fitting. That was quickened breathing attributed to fear and apprehension. Yuuichi was afraid and he was doing his damned best to hide it in front of this mysterious opponent.

"Ah."

Natsuki looked over at Shizuru who now had a knowing look in her eyes.

"Now I remember. That boy's name is Takeda Hirokazu. He is rather famous in this area for his skill and speed."

"I see. No relation to that idiot pervert, I hope."

Shizuru smiled and squeezed Natsuki's hand a little tighter.

"Not that I would know of." Shizuru turned back towards the ready combatants. "How rare, though. I thought he was still disqualified for this tournament, but perhaps he is already through his match bans."

Natsuki raised an eyebrow and Shizuru frowned.

"This boy has a penchant for being a bit... forceful in his attack. You will see what I mean."

The judge signaled for the match to begin. Yuuichi clapped his _shinai_ against Hirokazu's _shinai_ and immediately he felt his arms begin to strain as he tried to keep the sword upright. Those gray eyes underneath the lined mask nearly glinted in pleasure until Yuuichi felt his sword being shoved away. Immediately he focused his weight on the balls of his feet, refusing to get knocked back so soon in the battle. He flicked his sword up and managed to deflect the oncoming hit for his head. The roar from his opponent was deafening to his ears and he felt his limbs clench for a second at the deep noise that shook him to the core. This never happened before. Yuuichi had fought his fair share of frightening and loud opponents but he had never been scared silly by a simple shout. His body appeared to go into auto-pilot, reacting on muscle memory alone as he brought the _shinai_ up again and again to deflect the hard-hitting blows. His foot slid before it stuck to the floor and he knocked Hirokazu's swing away in time to find a slight opening. The white tip of the bamboo sword managed to clip the throat protector and Yuuichi screamed the appropriate call for the strike as he stabbed forward. A split second later a white flag was raised—one point for Tate Yuuichi.

Natsuki let out a strained breath, almost in a resigned sort of sigh. Shizuru narrowed her eyes.

"It's not over yet."

He had drawn first blood but that didn't make his life any easier now that the tiger in front of him was fully roused from his initial toying. Yuuichi found himself backpedaling in order to avoid getting a _shinai_ lodged into his throat by the now enraged Hirokazu who seemed to be making the marked square his personal stomping ground. They exchanged several quick blows before they both scored successive hits on the sides of the head protector. Flags appeared to be flying up on a whim until Hirokazu landed a heavy smack against Yuuichi, knocking him down. Yuuichi groaned and attempted to get up from his knees at the sudden blow as the judges began to throw up all manners of flags that Natsuki couldn't even keep track of and didn't care to understand at the moment. All she knew, however, was that Yuuichi was down and this was a hell of a lot more interesting than those other matches where all they did was scream and run around the marked square.

"Reckless," Shizuru murmured with a rare hint of disgust.

"Is that what you meant?" Natsuki asked. "That boy has a hell of a swing."

To her surprise Shizuru shook her head and instead nodded her chin towards Yuuichi.

"He is the one being reckless," she explained. "He is fighting a fight while preoccupied. What a dangerous gamble."

Yuuichi blinked and nodded slightly when the judge asked him if he could continue the match. To be honest he wasn't even sure what that old man was trying to tell him. He dragged himself up to his feet and brought his weapon up so that it didn't drag against the floor and write him off as being disrespectful. It would be in bad taste. Bad taste... Yuuichi blearily looked up at those laughing gray eyes. For a split second he was not in the kendo hall anymore. He blinked, wondering what was going on until he realized that his mind was flicking through the fairy tale album of two years ago, where he stood in a similarly impossible battle. But the opponent of that particular conflict was using a real sword at the time and he had already died once so he didn't care too much about going all out. It was fast approaching the end of the world, after all, and he had to buy time for Mai to save everyone from a more permanent death. But this was no Kanzaki Reito leering at him as he attempted to pull himself together. There was no deadly katana out to cut him into ribbons, and he had no prosthetic sword to protect him this time around. Indeed, this was a more pedestrian recreation if he could say so. There wasn't even a Mai this time to protect, only the budding reputation of his school. What of it? He wasn't going to win this fight anyway. He shook his head and readied his _shinai_, giving the go-ahead for Hirokazu to continue their duel.

Just run the clock out. Survive and run the clock out. He attempting to breathe in the stifling air around him as he shrugged his shoulders and brought his weapon up in a defensive position. He was down by a point and they only had thirty seconds to decide the match. Somewhere in the back of his mind he could register his Kaichou screaming at him to get his ass into gear. It was probably in that exact wording too, knowing her. But Yuuichi's body was in autopilot again and the limbs were now sluggish. There was nothing to prove. He wasn't going to die, so why expend so much effort on something so worthless? He knocked away several attempts with sloppy swipes of his weapon but a hazy blanket of weariness entered his mind. No point, no point. He wasn't going to gain anything by attempting to fight back and possibly winning this match, anyway. The people he wanted to show his accomplishments to weren't even here to appreciate or mock them. Kanzaki was out watching his sister and Mai was back in Fuuka. There was nothing to prove. He felt the bamboo clap against his throat and saw the red flag raise up in one clean, clear arc. His eyes locked onto that flag and he stood still as the roar of the crowd decided his fate.

They stayed up in the bleachers until Natsuki announced that she would go to the locker rooms. Shizuru nodded and let her go with the reminder that they had to meet in the bus terminal soon otherwise they would have to empty their pockets out for a taxi. Natsuki nodded and nimbly avoided the exiting crowd to take the shortest path towards the lockers. When Natsuki approached the downtrodden members of the kendo club, she paused as she saw the familiar black hair and green eyes of an individual she never quite considered running into again. But here he was, Takeda Masashi, dressed simply in a button-down shirt and gray slacks with his jacket tossed casually over his shoulder. He seemed to be addressing the sitting members of his former club in a low voice with a small smile on his lips. The assorted students seemed to perk up at his quiet speech despite Natsuki not quite hearing what he was saying, but when he turned his eyes lit up and his smile grew.

"Good afternoon, Kaichou-san," he greeted with a nod of his head.

"... Afternoon, Takeda," Natsuki replied quietly.

Takeda turned back to his former subordinates and the newer faces of what was once his club. He shook his head and laughed slightly.

"I suppose this wasn't a battle we were going to win," he announced. "But there's always next year's championship. Start training now and fight without holding back."

The club members nodded their heads and Takeda let them go as he turned to face Natsuki once more. They stared at each other for a moment in their sudden impasse until Natsuki sighed and shrugged.

"Thanks for the pep talk," she said in cool tones.

"They looked like they needed it," Takeda replied. "But the person who needed it the most seems to be missing."

"Hn." Natsuki crossed her arms. "Well, don't worry about it. I'll find him and give him a talking-to myself."

"... Did he by any chance ask you if you were... happy?"

Natsuki paused and threw a suspicious glance towards Takeda. She really didn't want to spend more time than absolutely necessary with this man. Shizuru was waiting for her and they had a window of two hours for her to yell at Tate before she had to meet with Shizuru's father—she didn't have time to chit-chat with a man she'd much rather not associate with. But the question was rather telling of the nagging doubt in Natsuki's mind and she relented for a moment.

"Yes. I'm guessing he asked you that weird question too?"

"He did."

"Well, then I'll keep that in mind, Takeda."

"Wait!"

Natsuki turned back and frowned.

"What is it now?"

"I..." Takeda managed to smile despite feeling a distinct shaking in his legs just by standing there. "I just wanted to let you know I had no hard feelings. That's all."

Natsuki stared at him for a moment until her eyes softened just a bit. Really, she wasn't sure whether to smile or belt him across the face and go along her merry little way. She relented and offered a curt smile.

"That's nice."

Takeda watched her go before tucking his hands into his pockets and sighing.

"She's got a killing edge," he said to himself. He sighed once more in relief and patted the space above his thundering heart. "Now I suppose I'm glad I never bothered after that rejection letter."

* * *

Natsuki was grabbed by the arm as soon as she walked out of the locker rooms. Instead of freaking out and punching the person in the face, she wordlessly followed Shizuru out of the kendo hall and into the city streets of Kyoto. Shizuru looked a bit preoccupied with something and Natsuki frowned as she attempted to discern just what it was that was bothering her. She had gotten pretty good over the years at reading Shizuru's expressions but this was the one that had always stumped her. Shizuru wore this expression for all manners of difficult circumstances ranging from bad economical news to learning that pets were not allowed in their apartment, which left out the possibility of purchasing a snake. Natsuki was rather thankful for the latter point, to be honest, but now wasn't the time to be feeling thankful over not being allowed to have a snake as a pet. Something told her this expression was not formed through a trivial matter like that.

"Shizuru?"

"Yuuichi-han hasn't been found since he left the locker rooms," Shizuru explained. "I took the liberty of having one of Yukino-han's assistants out looking for him."

"Well, that's good for him I guess. He probably needed to go cool his head."

"I suppose." Shizuru checked her watch and sighed. "We only have an hour and a half until dinner with Otou-han, we can't be late for this."

"... I have to wear the suit, don't I." Natsuki stared at the sky above her and began to mumble. "Please tell me I'm not wearing the suit."

Shizuru smiled behind her hand but Natsuki could still see it due to her being slightly behind the older girl.

"... I have to wear the suit," Natsuki repeated. "... The thing is so..."

"Dashing? Handsome?"

"... Stupid."

Shizuru appeared to ignore that comment as she continued down the street.

"The cut is quite nice, you know. I had them tailor it to your measurements and in the best fabric. It shouldn't disappoint you in the least."

"My m-measurements?" Natsuki blanched. "But... How did you..."

She stopped herself as she mentally answered her own question. She clamped a hand over her nose to stop the mysterious pressure that was building up due to the very suggestive images popping up in her mind. Shizuru watched her struggles and couldn't help herself as she let out a short laugh.

"Natsuki, you never said no," Shizuru pointed out gleefully. "Of course, you didn't lift a finger in helping out so I had to take the measurements some way or another."

Natsuki rolled her eyes but knew that Shizuru was just as correct as she was creative.

"Alright, alright. So I never did. But still, a suit? I feel like I should be auditioning for a women's theater troupe or something."

"That's possible. I heard from Mai-han that you have quite the nice singing voice."

"Whu—that jerk! That wasn't supposed to be common knowledge! I'm never going out to karaoke again!"

Shizuru had given up on dragging a slightly-fuming Natsuki along in favor of simply holding her hand. Natsuki unconsciously latched on as they walked through crowded streets towards the bus terminal. As they waited for their bus in the nearby benches Natsuki fished through her pockets for loose change when she paused in front of a vending machine. A sitting Shizuru was offered a hot can of green tea as Natsuki pulled the tab on her soda can with one finger. A second can of soda poked out of her jacket pocket. Shizuru took the can and carefully opened it, blowing on the steam for a few seconds before taking a drink. Natsuki sniffed and stared at the bus schedule while taking periodic drinks from her soda.

"Hey, Shizuru."

"Hm?"

Natsuki paused for a second. Did she really have to tell her? After all, nothing had come out from it and the two had walked away from each other with no lingering thoughts. She shook her head. If their relationship was to stay strong, then she had to be honest even if that wasn't the easiest thing to do.

"... I ran into Takeda at the locker rooms."

Shizuru paused as the tip of the can pressed against her lips. It was a little too hot to stay there so she brought the can back down and cradled it between her hands.

"I see. Did the two of you talk?"

Natsuki finished her can and cleanly tossed it into a nearby trash receptacle. Shizuru watched it go through the hole without so much as touching the edges. The sound of the empty can clanging into the other empty aluminum cans became a jumble in her mind as she waited for Natsuki's response with a mixture of hope and dread.

"We did. Like a minute's worth, really. He was way more interested in the kendo club anyway and Tate wasn't there for me to kick his ass, so there wasn't any time for small talk." Natsuki tucked her hands in her pockets and snorted. "Not that I would've wanted to stick around him anyway."

A curious silence was her response and she looked down at Shizuru who was still cradling her tea in her hands. Natsuki frowned at the strangely contemplative expression on Shizuru's face before looking back up at the mingling crowd in front of them.

"He told me that he had no hard feelings," Natsuki continued, slowly running out of things to say. "I told him that was nice and left. That was all."

Still no response. Natsuki exhaled in one low whistle, now knowing the reason behind those stiff shoulders and that lost expression in those crimson eyes.

"... Do I have to shout it out to Kyoto too?" she asked softly. Shizuru looked up at her but she missed this when she closed her eyes and sighed. "How troublesome. I could get arrested for being a public nuisance, you know."

Without looking her hand snaked out of her pocket and landed on top of Shizuru's head. Her fingers dug into the flaxen hair as she lightly rubbed the older girl's head. The palm of her hand skimmed across silken locks as she gently pushed Shizuru's head so that it rested against the side of her hip. They stayed relatively silent during this physical reversal of comfort but Shizuru closed her eyes and savored the feel of Natsuki's fingertips lightly running across her head as the younger girl revealed the second soda sitting in her pocket. This she opened again with one hand and took a casual sip.

"Personally, I wouldn't mind," Natsuki pointed out in a matter-of-fact tone. She waved her can towards the crowds. "Hell, jail would be a cakewalk compared to some of the other nonsense we've been through. But I'd like my record clean now that I'm a full-fledged adult, so shouting off the top of my lungs and being a supposed danger to the public isn't going to go so well, I'm afraid."

Shizuru shook her head.

"I'm sorry," she murmured faintly. "I'm being silly, aren't I? You did nothing wrong and I'm getting worked up over it regardless."

Natsuki's lips were cocked into a lopsided grin as she took another sip.

"Nah. I'd probably be insanely jealous and unsure of myself too if you told me you had spoken to someone who had a crush on you."

She let out a short bark of a laugh that carried a carefree note.

"Giving the time of day to someone else who used to be interested in me is still cheating in my opinion, and I'm no cheater."

Shizuru's hand came up as Natsuki's hand came down to rest on her shoulder. The sudden warmth of Shizuru's fingers only gave more emphasis to how cold Natsuki's hand must have been from holding onto the soda can earlier.

"You're always going to be the one for me," Natsuki said even as she stared at the coming bus.

"Me too," Shizuru said softly.

They didn't have to look at one another to register the content smiles on their faces. Indeed, they knew they were happy. As they got ready to get on the bus, they failed to notice a familiar pair of brown eyes watching them as they took the next bus out of the terminal. Yuuichi stared at the leaving couple with a thoughtful look to his eyes as he stuffed his hands in his jacket pockets. It had taken him some time to lose the Executive Council's lackey but Yuuichi was pretty certain he had a good window of time left on his own until the Kaichou decided to personally track him down. He turned and went to the vending machines, putting in the coins and selecting a hot coffee that he tossed back and forth between his hands to shake it and ward off some of the heat from the metal can. After opening it he sat down on the bench and took several sips of the sweetened beverage before running through the scene once more in his head.

Happiness. That was what he had viewed just now. There was some trepidation involved and Kuga looked like she was trying to tell her Shizuru something that she didn't really want to talk about. It was a necessary evil though and if they did not talk, it would have just festered into a situation that would have grown and grown into something a lot nastier than it should have been. And Shizuru looked just as uneasy after hearing the first set of words. But they seemed to work through it their own way and walked out of the terminal with those same small smiles on their lips. The conversation could have been about the falling economy or some other unrelated news, but Yuuichi knew deep down that the two would have left that terminal with those smiles intact. They would work through it. It was an admirable quality, he admitted. He wished he could have that much patience. Wait a minute. There was nothing wrong in his relationship with Mai. Nothing wrong at all! They hadn't argued lately at all. He was given the greatest treatment when she could provide it and he reciprocated when he could. They went out on their dates and had their dinners and after-dinner activities as much as they wanted. There was no problem whatsoever in their relationship.

Right?

Yuuichi took a sip of coffee.

Right.

Yuuichi finished his coffee and held the cooling can in his hands as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees. Really, what was the problem here? Oh, he knew what it was. Obviously there was a problem. He lost a match that he could have won. It wouldn't have been pretty but that Takeda Hirokazu would have been eating dirt by the end of it, not the other way around. He was Tate Yuuichi for goodness sakes. He faced down the most frightening adversary in history and managed to hold him off. Of course, he didn't really kill a hulking huge monster or anything but still, that had to count for something. And Reito was something of a sword-expert in real life so it definitely had to count for something. He had the experience, he came out and triumphed, and yet... His fist closed around the can in one distinctive crunch. This was unbelievable. He had cost them a finals berth in the championship. There were no more years left in his high school career, he couldn't just train and hope for the best next year anymore. This had been his last chance. What the hell had gone wrong? He sat there, watching the thinning crowd through dull brown eyes. The bench creaked slightly and he shifted his gaze over to find pink hair peeking through a hood.

"... You found me."

Shiho stared at the crowds as well.

"You aren't that hard to find," she muttered in response.

"Really." Yuuichi stared at the crushed can in his hand and set it down beside his feet. "How did you manage to find me, anyway?"

Shiho shrugged offhandedly.

"It was just a hunch. I can't explain it any further than that."

"A hunch, huh." Yuuichi narrowed his eyes. "You were stalking me, weren't you?"

Now Shiho turned to look at him. He stared at those angry eyes and for a second took the time to admire the living clarity of that anger. It was something different from the cheerful sparkle of Mai's eyes. In fact, Mai was never angry towards him. Annoyed, and prone to yelling at him when something questionable happened, but never truly angry. But Shiho was looking at him down with those angry eyes of hers and for the first time he truly _saw_ her. He wasn't looking through those dreary gray lenses he put on when he teased her or pushed her away as if she was nothing more than a clingy reminder of his past. Right now his vision was assaulted by the full colors of the girl sitting beside him in this crowded bus terminal and he found himself at a loss for words. What was this? Furthermore, why now? Yuichi tore his gaze away from those eyes and absently planted his hand over his chest. He grabbed his shirt and balled his hand into a fist as he felt the cotton against his palm bunch up. He deserved it. He knew this. He deserved those angry eyes and that sullen silence that followed what should have been a high-pitched shriek of how he shouldn't have picked himself up and left like that. She deserved to be this angry. He hadn't spoken to her since that day two years ago, in that picnic surrounded by individuals who were so close and yet so distant from him by proxy of simply being involved in the same conflict. He turned to Mai and made good on his devotion to her, completely leaving this girl to fend for herself with a broken heart and a lost cause. He deserved her anger.

He was scared, now. The anger of a scorned woman was not something to mess around with. He knew that much with his experiences at that Carnival. The second those green sparks began to fly around, there were some ugly confrontations as a result. But this time around, he was scared that the anger wasn't going to fire right. For a quiet moment he was scared of feeling something other than mild surprise over seeing the mild disgust and anger that Shiho displayed towards him. Yuuichi sighed and leaned his head back so that he was now staring at the ceiling of the terminal. He waited for it, for the inevitable screeching to start, but Shiho merely looked back at the crowd milling about. The nameless faces seemed to be much more interesting than he was, and for some reason it made him frown. But she refused to look at him and even looked a bit bored as she studied this crowd in place of acknowledging him.

"... This must be some sort of reverse psychology," he muttered finally.

It was his defeat, the second for today.

"You let a lot of people down today," Shiho replied simply, nailing another nail into his coffin.

"Is that all you wanted to say?" he asked, suddenly harsh.

"No, but I can see that you aren't going to listen," she continued.

She stood and straightened her skirt before tucking her hands into her jacket's pockets. The hood was still on her head. For a second he imagined yanking it off to see that pink hair spill out. He wondered if it still had that strange strawberry-like smell to it that he had smelled once whenever she clung to his arm and tried to make things work for her. He wondered a lot of things, but his thoughts were cut mercilessly short as she turned to face him.

"I just can't believe you, Yuuichi-kun," she said, and he almost didn't acknowledge it due to her not calling him by his usual title. She gave him another look before she turned away. "For someone who has everything he's ever wanted, you sure are good at losing it all."

Yuuichi's fists curled on his knees as he stared at the crumpled coffee can sitting in front of him. She began to walk away from him, and for the first time he wanted to call out to her to wait, to stop and turn around. He wanted her to look at him. But he remained silent with his fists balled up on his lap as the hooded girl disappeared into the crowd without a goodbye.

_What do I have to show for myself?_

And then, Yuuichi knew. He knew the answer to his problem. It had been solved for him in that subway ride from Shinjuku with those knowing gold eyes and mechanically easy smile of the sempai he both admired and hated. It had been solved for him with every touch of the hands and every fond look in the eyes of the Kaichou-couple in front of him. And it had been solved with the stark contrast between those kind violet eyes of the woman he loved and the angry brown eyes of the girl he had abandoned.

_I was never the better man._

Yuuichi stood and sighed. The empty, crushed coffee can fell over lifelessly and attempted to roll away from him. He gave it a decent kick and watched it rebound off the wall before spinning to a stop.

_I was never the better man._

* * *

Yuuichi made it back to the hotel at nearly 1 in the morning. He trudged across the lobby with a certain dead look in his eye, the type of look that existed only in a man who had been given a fantastic secret but was unable to share it with anyone. It was only for him to know, and this was a dreadful loneliness to shoulder. Those brown eyes flickered to life when he registered the black patent leather dress shoes in front of his own worn sneakers. His gaze traveled up to take in the black suit pants, fitted tuxedo jacket tossed carelessly over the shoulder, white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, and dark blue tie tucked neatly into a vest of the shame shade. He blinked and also noticed the long dark hair gathered up into a pony tail, then he finally saw those fierce emerald eyes and put the individual features together to register his Kaichou glaring at him. A pair of white gloves were in her hands and she tapped her foot impatiently as she took in his dull, worn figure.

"So, the erstwhile hero returns," Natsuki announced quietly. "Welcome back."

Yuuichi offered no reply and Natsuki sighed.

"Come on, idiot. Have a late snack with us before you go to bed. You look kinda wiped out."

He obediently followed her down the hall and in front of her room. She took out the key card and swiped it against the reader before walking in with the morose man in tow. The room was still awash in lights and he paused for a second as he took in the breathtaking beauty sitting on the couch waiting for them. Of course he knew her, and he knew of her beauty, but there was something about seeing Fujino Shizuru in a _furisode_ kimono that would take anyone's breath away with no objections. Oxygen? What was that? The kimono was of a dark blue with an intricate design of what looked to be wisteria flowers embroidered onto the silk. Her hair was up and held in place by an assortment of charms that could have cost any normal person a month's worth of wages at the least. She sat near a ready set of tea cups filled with something that gave off a relaxing scent that he could recognize. Natsuki took a seat next to Shizuru and Yuuichi took up the lone seat across from them. He accepted the cup of tea and stared at the murky liquid for a moment before looking up at the couple before him.

"The two of you look very nice, but you seem rather dressed up for a meeting for the school," he noted quietly.

Natsuki offered a shrug.

"The Fujino family requires a certain dress code to be implemented during their events. Since I was listed as Shizuru's escort, this is what I had to wear."

He decided not to comment on that matter-of-fact statement despite the wealth of opportunity he had.

"Well? What went wrong?" Natsuki asked.

"Natsuki..."

"What? It's only fair that we ask," she said after Shizuru's chiding. "I'm pretty interested in figuring out why."

"It's alright," Yuuichi replied. "I know why."

"Then tell us," Natsuki coaxed before taking up her own cup of tea.

"I choked. That's it, really. My mind wasn't clear and because of that I suffered a defeat."

Yuuichi took a small sip of the tea, as if that was the end of the conversation and he would say nothing more with the advent of busying his mouth with something other than talking. But he had yet to master the art of using food or drink to herald the end of the conversation. Even Shizuru looked a little perturbed at the matter-of-fact tone behind his words, but Natsuki was always the more visual indicator of their collected feelings and she didn't even try to hide her own suspicious expression.

"Are you and Mai not doing well?" Natsuki asked with narrowed eyes.

"Huh?" Yuuichi looked up and blinked before frowning. "Well... No. And yes. I don't know. It's growing really confusing now."

"... Try to tell us from the beginning, Yuuichi-han," Shizuru replied quietly.

Yuuichi attempted to smile but settled with a strange sort of straight line where the corners of his lips were more stressed. He set down his tea cup and folded his hands together.

"Lately I've been feeling some doubts over things. I guess I thought about it too much considering my performance today. But it should go away soon. It's nothing important."

Natsuki made an unimpressed noise at the back of her throat and stood as soon as Yuuichi finished his cup of tea. He knew that this was his cue to bid Shizuru good night and he did so with a stiff bow that she returned with a soft nod. He followed Natsuki out into the hallway. In hindsight he should have seen it coming, but his back smacked against the wall as a pair of hands grasped onto the front of his shirt. Despite his height and weight advantage he was putting in Natsuki's steel grip and he merely resigned himself to being in this submissive position as he felt those emerald eyes cut into him.

"I'm only going to watch out for my interests," Natsuki warned in a low tone. "Mai happens to be one of them considering she is my best friend. So you better pick your ass up and get yourself together, Tate, unless you want me to do it for you."

He wondered briefly if she was going to punch him. If he said something she didn't like then that fist was going to fly like a laser for his nose, so he decided not to risk it. He heard those fists were capable of smashing wood with just one punch. Even if the freakish strength and stamina from the Carnival was mostly gone, he wouldn't underestimate his Kaichou. So he sighed and nodded numbly, feeling those fists let go of his shirt in response. He knew he would never be in a mood to pick a fight with Kaichou. That'd be silly and in the worst case scenario downright suicidal. It wasn't really Kuga he was worried about—no, his worries laid with Fujino Shizuru and the immediate retaliation he would inevitably suffer if he laid even on hit on her Natsuki. So he let it go, and she gave him another look before turning on her heel and returning to the hotel room.

"You have a few days of freedom considering Fuuka is not in the running for the championship anymore and these rooms have been rented out for the remainder of the week," Natsuki announced before opening the door once more. "Take some time off and get your act together before we go home."

"... Yeah."

"Good night, Tate."

"... Night, Kuga."

Yuuichi watched the door to their room close with a definitive click, shielding his eyes from the warm light of the room within. He stared at that closed down for another moment before going back to his room.

_What a letdown._

The room was a single for himself, the lofty captain of what could have been a winning squad. But he stared at the made single bed and shook his head before ducking into the shower. After nearly a half hour of attempting to drown himself in the weak flow of the shower head, he finally gave up and dully walked out, dressed in loose clothes with a towel over his shoulders. He fell into the bed and tucked himself into the starched sheets as the air conditioner hummed over his head. Maybe if he laid there long enough he would catch a cold and be forced to face his own doubts in the silence of this lonely hotel room. But he doubted this plausible turn of events as he shifted and placed his hands behind his head. Catching a cold and revelation at the same time would have been too easy for him. No, he knew that this required possibly even more work than staying alive and on top at the Carnival required.

Maybe he was making a huge deal out of nothing, a mountain out of mole hill. When he confirmed that the statement was in fact the correct one and he hadn't turned into a clueless version of Suzushiro Haruka, he continued on this train of thought. Sure, that would've been the easiest way to go, to laugh it all off as being something smaller than he originally thought. As soon as he allowed himself a chuckle over it, however, the sound came out wrong and he found himself frowning all the more deeply over it. No, maybe that wasn't it. He turned and saw his cell phone sitting on the bedside table. Briefly he considered dialing Mai up but it was already close to 2:30 in the morning and no one in their right mind would be up that late let alone willing to sit down for a long chat. And what was he going to say to her, anyway?

I don't think this is working out, can we take a break? I still love you though, so don't worry, this isn't a break-up. Just a break.

That just sounded stupid and Yuuichi cringed. Logic dictated that perhaps he should write up a list of pros and cons and discuss them from there but logic had been thrown out the window a long time ago in light of love. That's what it was, right? Yeah, love. He didn't even know what the hell that was aside from some loud declaration in front of the face of death. There was an awfully good chance things would go terribly wrong and they would die, so maybe he just shouted out his love for Mai just to make it a point. Good for you, Yuuichi, you finally confessed in light of the circumstance. And maybe he even said it just to rub it in Reito's face. Just like that. Ha, ha, I stole away the girl you had your eye on despite having truckloads of girls following you everywhere. Isn't that ironic?

_When did I turn out this way?_

He never considered himself to be a vindictive individual, even during his time away from kendo due to an injury. He had just shouldered it and moved along. Even as the Carnival's participants began to turn on each other and beat each other to the ground he kept his cool and attempting to hold it all together. Despite the softness of the mattress below him, he felt like his back was against a very concrete wall. Whatever he ended up doing, he knew he had to decide on it soon or risk getting torn apart over it.

_Would love pull me through?_

* * *

He wasn't sure how they ended up bumping into one another at breakfast but in hindsight he knew he should have accounted for the fact that the Student Council Secretary would be attending this event as well. He was still unnerved, however, at the sight of pink hair bobbing around close by at the breakfast bar as he sat and picked through breakfast. The absence of fan girls flocking around the hotel lobby told him that the Kaichou-couple had left a bit earlier in the morning. He wondered how they survived with that massive train of girls trying to find them, but he mused that Kyoto was a big city and Shizuru's hometown at that, so there were probably plenty of places to hide.

"... Is anyone sitting here?"

Yuuichi looked up and saw Shiho looking down at him with a cup of coffee in her hand and a plate of food. He shrugged and scooted over on the small table he had taken, stacking his plates in one neat little pile and giving her room.

"Have a seat."

Shiho placed her plate down and took several sips of coffee before beginning her breakfast which looked to be made up of mostly fruit. He watched her eat for a moment before she looked up at him with a cautious expression on her face.

"What's the matter with you?" she asked.

"Hm?" Yuuichi blinked and realized that he had been staring. "Oh, sorry."

Shiho gave him another look before returning to her breakfast. They spent the remainder of their time in the hotel dining room without another word exchanged until she finished the last drops of her coffee and set the cup down. They put the dishes away roughly in unison and walked out into the lobby in relative silence until Shiho turned and faced him.

"... I'm sorry about yesterday."

Yuuichi frowned and stretched his arms above his head.

"I don't mind. You were right, anyway."

"I see."

Shiho paused and looked as if she was going to disappear again. Yuuichi fidgeted until he finally caved in.

"Listen... We have a few days left. Do you want to go around the city for a day or so? We could catch a tour."

She watched him attempt to offer to take her out and found this entire premise somewhat outrageous. He seemed sincere enough, but she had her doubts. Besides, this wasn't something someone did when they were firmly enmeshed with another woman. Shiho had her competition with Mai a long time ago and lost handily when Yuuichi made his final decision. What on earth was he doing violating their mutual disregard of one another? Did Hirokazu knock him upside the head a little harder than they thought? Deep down, however, she had wanted this time alone with him. Maybe it would help sort out the strange warmth that was now melting the coldness around her own hardened heart. Not to take him away. No. Besides, Yuuichi would never cheat. He and Mai were going strong on two years; a week was not going to wreck that and Shiho figured she had no real say in it. But he looked sincere, meek, lost. She closed her eyes and sighed.

"... Fine. Do you want to leave now or do you need to pick up something from your room?"

Yuuichi let loose the breath he didn't know he was holding.

"We can leave now."

So began the rest of their week in the red maple-leaves of Kyoto. They skipped the kendo hall and instead took the streets, armed with a map and bus schedule that took them through several of the more extravagant wards of the old city. These tours were held in a contemplative quiet that appeared to fit the nature of the city well enough so neither of them complained as they walked side-by-side down these old roads. For some reason the quiet wasn't unnerving as Yuuichi had thought, and he even began to enjoy himself slightly as he walked with Shiho an arm's length away, never behind latching onto him as before. Yuuichi periodically looked over at the quiet girl and began to wonder just what was going on beneath those focused eyes of hers. She wasn't a stupid girl by any means and even her blind devotion towards him was broken up in favor of this quiet demeanor. Maybe, just maybe... Yuuichi didn't want to think about it at first but it returned to him from time to time during their breaks to eat at the assorted restaurants down the streets they traveled through. He began to like this quiet companionship. Maybe in the past, if approached by this quiet, earnest girl, he would have said yes to her. This wasn't spoken in that soft sense of acceptance that would follow someone who had discovered a hidden fork in the road in the past that would have led to a revealed outcome. This was spoken with a cold gripping sense of fright and the never-ending mantra of "how could it go this way" repeating over and over again in the back of his mind. But he paused, and retracted these thoughts. Would Shiho have turned out this way if he had accepted her two years ago? Probably not. She probably would have been loud Shiho, the annoying little thing who latched onto him with that outrageous sausage hair of hers. His eardrums and his sanity would have ruptured a long time ago.

Maybe she had to be broken in order for him to see her for the first time.

Wait a minute. This was wrong. He shook his head roughly and honestly wondered if he really had been hit upside the head more times than recommended. Well, whatever it was, it wouldn't last long. The rest of the week had passed by in light speed and he nearly didn't realize it until Kuga had stopped by his room in the evening to give him the train and ferry tickets together in one envelope. He stared at the white envelope before setting it down on the bedside table beside his phone. They had only one night left in this city until their trip back to Fuuka, so whatever began here would end here just as abruptly. He told himself this plenty of times, enough to the effect that he began to believe it. So he steeled himself and walked over to the hotel room Shiho had been assigned by Kaichou and knocked on the door three times. The door opened slightly to reveal a curious young girl still dressed in her day clothes despite carrying a towel and toothbrush in one hand. She registered Yuuichi and frowned slightly but kept the heavy door open.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I just wanted to say that I enjoyed this week," Yuuichi began. He took in her doubtful expression and shook his head. "No, really, I mean it. It was nice."

"Well... I guess I liked it too," she replied thoughtfully before her expression tensed once more. "... Why are you telling me this now?"

He took in a deep breath. Okay, it was now or never.

"Can I come in?"

She sorely wanted to say no. Her mind was throwing up all sorts of warning labels.

"... Fine."

He gave her such a grateful smile that her heart began to do a funny little dance that she nearly couldn't recognize. It was then that she realized her heart wasn't learning to do a strange new trick, but it was revisiting the same fuzziness from years ago. But this was no juvenile crush anymore and she was nearly floored by the return of that deep feeling she used to harbor for this kendo practitioner with the strange spiky hair and the broken expressions. It was unfair. She nearly wanted to knock him over the head with the toothbrush and call it a day. It was so unfair. She wasn't supposed to be feeling these feelings again, not while Yuuichi had a girl back at home that she had just begun to bring herself to not hate out of association. No, she couldn't do this. She nearly told him to get the hell out when he took a seat in the desk chair next to the neat little desk by her bed, but the sight of him sitting there caused her to stop short.

"Listen... I know I've done some stupid things in the past," Yuuichi began slowly, not caring if she was contemplating on whether or not to kick him out to save her heart. "And I'm sorry for that. I wasn't lying when I said I enjoyed myself. I'm just sorry we can't do this again back in Fuuka."

"... Right."

Okay, this was good. He wasn't going to try and make her do anything beyond those harmless little outings in this city. She set her toothbrush down in the bathroom and returned to the bedroom where Yuuichi was still sitting on the couch. This was strange. What was he still doing here?

"... I wonder... this might be a stupid question."

Shiho bit down her impatient growl.

"Ask it anyway. Nothing's too stupid to ask."

Yuuichi considered that statement before he looked up at her.

"Are you happy, Shiho?"

Of all the questions... She now bit down a scream of frustration. What was wrong with this boy? Here he was throwing all caution out to the wind and messing around with her as well as himself in some weird manner of putting himself back together again. Just what had happened to him in these two years they spent apart? The relationship looked fine to her knowledge and he had everything he ever wanted—a beautiful girl, a peaceful life, a prosperous future. She had to watch this happiness from the background as that strange little girl no one really wanted to associate with because she turned into a complete psychopath over this boy.

"What the... What the _hell_ kind of question is that?" she demanded roughly.

This response gave Yuuichi a mild shock. He stared at her as she stomped her foot.

"Am I happy?" A mocking laugh fell from her lips. "Am I _happy_? Well no shit, sherlock, _no_ I am not happy! I don't think I even remember the last time I was happy! But what's it to you, hmm? You never gave one shit about whether or not I was supposedly happy."

He took in her harsh words without a flinch and the sight of those accepting brown eyes finally drove her over the edge. She grasped onto his shirt and brought him up to eye level with a mixture of strange strength and sheer anger.

"I used to want to do very bad things to you," she whispered angrily. "I used to want to tie you up and have my way with you until neither of us could even move. I wanted you only for myself, and I literally went crazy for you. And you paid me back by ignoring me and running off with Tokiha. It's not her fault, though. It's not like _she_ was the one who stomped all over me and left me to fend for myself."

He had to do something. She was going to go absolutely postal if he didn't stop this tirade from going any further. Even if she didn't have her flute and crow she was still a rather frightful individual to piss off. At this rate he began to think crazy things, each flip-flopping between tossing Shiho onto the bed and whacking the lamp over her head, or tossing Shiho onto the bed and making good on those twisted desires from the past. His eyes nearly shook as they processed each option and tried to focus on Shiho at the same time. So he pushed her, then, and she fell onto the bed. She looked up at him with a mixture of anger and what looked to be some fear. Was she afraid he was going to hurt him? Oh, but that was the last thing on his mind now.

"I'm sorry."

Those two words echoed in her mind but they didn't quite fit with what she thought he was saying sorry over when he leaned in and kissed her. It wasn't the stuff of dreams. His lips were rough and they hurt.

_Only for tonight. Only for tonight, and tomorrow in Fuuka we'll part ways._

"I don't love you anymore," she declared as they parted lips.

Surprisingly she didn't even push him away as he held her.

"I don't care," Yuuichi replied just as sharply. "And deep down, I don't think you do either."

This was supposed to be an angry sort of passion that was born from the years of betrayal and abandonment, maybe even complete with some abuse before they cruised along to the finale that would leave them both breathless. But her lips were soft when her words were anything but and he found himself accommodating to it. There wasn't supposed to be any feeling involved, just a sort of blink-and-you-miss-it brand of emotion that would die as soon as he walked out that door. What was intimacy? Nothing but a fancy word to describe the carnal desire everyone wanted to quench. His heart soared, however, like a bird that had just found its nest after years of aimless searching. The feeling never died as they moved against each other, skin on skin, forgetting the world around them in their attention towards each other.

* * *

Fuuka came, and Fuuka went, but they didn't stop.

He appeared calmer, for the most part. Gone was the unsure young man who sat in the corner of the Student Council room and nodded his way through the meetings that took place. Replacing him was this sullen creature who still sat at the corner of the room, but instead of nodding his way along the day he merely sat there and brooded. The glances that Kaichou gave him were suspicious enough, especially when she saw the two of them together in the same room. Even Yukino who had chosen not to be involved was giving them uneasy glances from time to time. It wouldn't be too long, now, but at this point he failed to even care. What did they know, anyway. Happiness came way too easily for them and Yuuichi couldn't help but feel a bit resentful. Kanzaki was offered similar treatment whenever he came around to Fuuka again. If Mai had her suspicions she was curiously silent over them even as they had their dates. Keeping quiet was apparently a rather easy thing to do despite the small area they lived in, and nothing was said of their behavior despite how strange it was turning out to be. So they had their meetings where they would get together and do little more than have their cheap thrills.

There were meetings after the Student Council meetings, especially when Kaichou decided to take the day off to go on bike rides. So it was Kuga's fault, really, for not paying attention more and playing the rebel by letting them off the hook. Yuuichi liked to tell himself this from time to time despite knowing that it wasn't true, but it didn't stop him. There were meetings in his room, in her room, anywhere that was remotely private and out of the prying ears and eyes of the public. She never said no despite not quite saying yes, but he took it as it was. In the end the words didn't matter as they reciprocated each other in their actions. Sometimes he would lay there in the darkness with those pink hairs sprawled out against his chest and he would think. Of course this wasn't right, even as his fingers ran through the hair and admired the quality of the pink. It even had that strange strawberry scent from before, but now he couldn't quite get enough of it. He paused at his own strange wistfulness.

Was he happy?

Not really, but it was a step up from before now that he accepted that there really was no escaping this desire. Shiho provided what Mai unconsciously could not, and he took it for what it was. Of course it was wrong, but did that stop him? No. He was just as human as the rest of them save for accepting the fact that he wasn't always going to be the better individual in every situation. This wasn't to say that he was going to unpunished, however. He wasn't so stupid as to assume that he was going to get away from this situation with clean hands. It was only a matter of time, but a delayed punishment was rarely good enough to be a motivator to keep on the clean side of life.

So when she opened the door to his room to leave and instead found Mai standing there before her, Yuuichi knew that this high ride on his whims was now coming to an abrupt stop.

_Things were copasetic 'till she caught him,  
__Things were cool and collected,  
__'Till she caught him erected, with another..._

* * *

AN: I bet some of you or a lot of you are going to go "wtf Tate why you do this D:" and I don't blame you. But not everyone is gifted the sort of resolve it takes to stick through thick and thin, and they'll look to anything or anyone to provide an escape at the first sight of things not going as well as they'd like. Besides, the goal was never to make Tate a likeable character, just a realistic one.

Please let me know what you think!

Cheers.


	3. Chapter 3

Good afternoon, Author here. Thank you so much for these reviews. You truly inspire me.

... That said, why on earth is this idea growing _again_? I wanted to finish it up here and now I'm unsatisfied. Oh well. Please enjoy!

Mai-hime belongs to Sunrise, and the lyrics belong to Eve 6 "On the Roof Again"

* * *

_Shit went bad, he's on the roof again  
__She flipped, he flipped the bird and then he went  
__To the roof where his threats rang loud and clear:  
__Gonna jump, gonna jump, gonna die this year._

The two of them stared at each other with seemingly identical expressions of soft surprise. Shiho wasn't dumb enough to invite any sort of conversation with Mai as the older girl noticed the messy surroundings immediately behind her. Mai's violet eyes took in the rumpled school shirt and the exposed collarbone, immediately betraying Shiho's hushed expression by displaying the distinctive red marks against the white skin. She knew Mai wasn't dumb enough to write that off as being something else. Those violet eyes locked onto her like a heat-seeking missile would to the sun, but Shiho knew she was no shining star to be stared at. She knew those eyes, the denial hidden within them closely followed by betrayal. They held their mutual silence through looks alone, until they heard movement behind Shiho.

"Close the door, you're letting in cold air..."

Yuuichi paused. Mai was still looking at Shiho, but he knew that he was as good as dead when those violet eyes changed their course to lock on to him instead. Curiously enough she did nothing of the sort. Perhaps the shock was too much for her.

"... How long has this been happening?"

Yuuichi opened his mouth but Shiho beat it to him.

"Since the last day of the trip in Kyoto," she replied softly.

Mai paused for a second and let loose a low, shuddering sigh that shook Yuuichi to the core. This lack of a response disturbed him greatly. What on earth was going on? But really, what could he say in this situation?

It's not what you think.

He began to stare up at the ceiling as soon as that statement drifted its way into his mind. No. Absolutely wrong. It was _exactly_ what she thought. Her boyfriend of two years was out fucking the girl he had abandoned in favor of her. Yes, like that was ever going to be misconstrued into something else. He rubbed his forehead in agitation even as panic began to settle in to make his lips tremble in some effort to blurt out something like an apology. An apology for _what_? Every time his mind found some sort of applicable reason, a still, small voice in the back of his head reminded him that it wasn't going to change anything at all. Better luck next time, chum. Mai had yet to look at him. This sudden lack of retaliation suddenly triggered a long-forgotten switch in his brain and he soundlessly snarled as his hand drew back from his forehead.

"So fucking what if I slept with her?!"

Now the two of them were looking at him like he really had lost his marbles. Yuuichi didn't really care, though. He finally had enough of this running around, letting the world pass him by as he sat down and watched. His hands had finally reached out and touched the surface of what gave him his happiness, and anyone who thought otherwise could just get bent in his humble opinion. So what? It was his pursuit, not theirs. These thoughts built up all over each other until finally the words began to tumble out of his mouth.

"This was my choice, _my_ decision," he continued in a harsh voice. "And you know what? I liked it. Hell, I even wanted it more than she did and you know how obsessed she was with me."

Shiho silently drew her arms around herself as he jabbed a finger towards her. Of course, he wasn't quite sure where this tantrum of his would take him. All he could feel was some indescribable anger towards everyone and everything. Not fair. It wasn't fair. How in the hell was it that when he finally touched upon that glass-surface of happiness, the mere brush of his fingertips caused it all to crash into pieces all around him?

"You _wanted_ it?" Mai asked in a disbelieving whisper.

She finally turned her gaze towards him.

"You _wanted it_? What did you want, Yuuichi? What in the _hell_ did you want? What did you... What did you want from all of this?"

Well, it was obvious, of course. It was obvious to nobody but himself. He saw that beauty rupture beneath the flash of those violet eyes, and the semi-content castle he had built for himself began to crumble in the wake of the violet storm that had settled over them.

He wanted happiness.

He wanted to be fulfilled.

He wanted...

Yuuichi then stared at his hands. These callouses were made from hard work, from busting his body over and over again in the strict training regimen to bring him back to shape after his initial refusal to go back to kendo. They were still healing even as he went into practice everyday and slaved away with his drills and mock battles around his colleagues. And even through these countless hours of practice and the blood that oozed out of these broken callouses, he had thrown away his years of training in favor of backing down at the last possible moment before the break in his plateau. Now he would be standing still, forever trapped in his own vision of his troubles as the world continued to rotate in aloof disregard. It began as a struggle to stay alive in that dangerous Carnival even if he wasn't too sure what was going on at the time. Then it morphed into a thick slime of jealousy that coated his heart whenever he saw Mai with Kanzaki, and even this evolved further into the anxious maze he had built for himself in his mind. There were no exits. Everything came back into a full circle like he had once read in books. The hero would revisit the elements of his past while fighting to protect his future. It was only now he finally came upon the realization that he was horribly screwed over from the start, even as he began his re-entrance to a peaceful life after the Carnival. The horse he marched in on wasn't the white steed of bravery and steadfastness. It was an aging, rickety old thing beset with a weight heavier than any material item—indecision.

For a second his eyes caught the sight of Mai's hands. He knew how much she fretted over them, keeping up with the latest moisturizers in order to keep them soft despite the sheer amount of work she performed. Cooking, waiting on customers, cleaning, studying, watching Mikoto whenever Reito was unable to. There weren't enough hours in the day. She was pulling through by sheer force of will. She had a brother thousands of miles and a heartbeat away, and insurance wasn't going to pay for the entire operation no matter how optimistic they could sound over the phone. The scholarship to the academy still held even without the extenuating circumstance involved, but that didn't cover everything the entire world could conceivably throw in light of her situation. Things always seemed to happen to those who were already full of things to do. The two of them stood together once, hand in hand with a dream in their heads and a revolution to spur. They stood on the same road in life as did the other twelve maidens and their prospective others. And they were going down this road at their own paces. Some were running freely, others were taking their time and strolling down. He knew where he stood, and by proxy where Mai was still standing. Those kind violet eyes looked tired for the first time in a long time, he noted. She wouldn't last forever. Those hands of hers had carried enough burns.

Mai gave him one last look before turning on her heel and leaving without another word. Shiho watched her go with a myriad of expressions swimming around her cautious eyes before she finally turned to look at a seemingly emotionless Yuuichi.

"She's leaving you," she said.

"... Yeah. She is."

"Go after her. You need to go after her."

"... What the hell is the point, now?" Yuuichi turned away and began to walk back to his bedroom. "I've screwed it all up already..."

It was amazing how much strength an enraged little girl could really use against a seasoned athlete such as Yuuichi. In two seconds she had him looking down at her as she tugged his shirt down so they were eye level.

"Get out there, and get her back. She's the best thing that's ever happened to you and you're going to screw around and let her get away from you."

"Again, what the hell does it matter?" Yuuichi smacked away her hands and turned around once more. "I don't need her. I don't even need you, right now."

Shiho took in a deep breath before she finally reverted back to the anger he had found so fascinating about her. She gave him a rough shove before stomping out to the door. He recovered and grasped onto her shoulder, stopping her.

"You're at fault just as much as me," he said, but she knocked his arm away.

"I hope there aren't any pieces of you left when Kuga gets through with you," she spat venomously before she slammed the door shut behind her.

Yuuichi sighed explosively and pounded his fists into the door once before letting them stay there. It didn't feel as cold as he had expected, but he let out a shuddering breath before his fists began to slid. His knees were the first to give out and he fell with a painful thump that would probably leave bruises. His fists slid with an audible squeak until they rested slightly above his head. He rested his forehead against the door.

Yes, it hurt. It hurt like hell.

"How could I have been so stupid..."

It was just a huge mess. It was messier than a kitten discovering a ball of yarn but the end result for Yuuichi was not a cute squeal and a picture opportunity. No, that ball of yarn was a ball of chains in his case, and his entanglement was nothing cute to squeal over. Logically, he knew what he had done wrong. Of course he did. But does knowing something is wrong effectively stop someone? No, of course not. There wasn't always a guiding hand to grasp onto someone's hand when that person became lost. Life would have been easier, certainly, but sadly this would never be the case. Yuuichi shut his eyes.

* * *

College parties and nights at the club were few and far in between, what with Haruka hounding her wherever she went half the time. This doggedness was strangely endearing at times whenever Shizuru got a bit bored or even homesick to some extent, but even her limitless vats of patience were beginning to grow a bit thin. Couldn't Haruka go make some other friends to lord over or at least leave her alone for one night? It seemed that Yukino took the hint much better than her dear Haruka-chan and went on outings with her best friend periodically to make sure the two didn't end up tearing each other apart by the end of the year. So when the opportunity came and a date was set for a rather delicious little club outing, Shizuru let Natsuki know right away and they made their plans accordingly. Domesticated bliss? Who the hell took part in that? These two went all out in their raucous partying. There was a celebration going on twenty-four hours a day, three hundred and sixty-five days a year, and this celebration was called Life. Even they managed to laugh at this half-assed attempt to explain, but they felt the strain of adulthood calling upon them just as poignantly as the others around them. Who wanted to grow up in this day and age? Growing up meant marriages, divorces, children, children growing up into ungrateful little snots that caused the parents to wonder if they were the same way, thankless jobs, taxes, and eventually death. Shizuru and Natsuki didn't have the _time_ to waste on hemming and hawing over that. They were too busy enjoying life together.

Some said their relationship was like getting in a fast, exotic car that would cost any mortal at least their firstborn child along with some interest in the form of an arm and leg. The metaphor went on to explain that once you got into this car and slammed down on the acceleration as far as it could go, the comparison would reveal itself. It was a sort of giddy little rush that tingled from the fingertips gripping the wheel up to the head as the eyes failed to register anything but faint lines of light streaking past and the ears heard only the high-pitched whine of the engine as it roared up at the challenge. You had no idea where the hell you were going, but it damn sure was a lot of fun regardless. And some people thought that because of this lone quality of fast, potentially dangerous, and fleeting fun, the relationship would be doomed to fall apart in time due to the self-destructive speed and outrageousness exhibited. When approached by this quandary, Shizuru and Natsuki would simply exchange knowing smiles before laughing off those concerns in a carefree manner. They would add, however, that these fears weren't unfounded. There was a time when this same shotgun ride down life did tear them apart, but that was in the past. Right now was the limelight, so further concerns would have to wait.

This wasn't to say that they didn't spend time at home together. Thursday evenings were spent crowded around the table with an old box of mahjong tiles that once belonged to Shizuru's father. Indeed, part of the reason they stopped by Kyoto was to pick up this set to replace the cheaper one they had used until some of the tiles chipped. Natsuki couldn't really be surprised over her girlfriend's frightening skills in this game since she seemed to be blessed with unfathomable talent for most things she set her mind into. However, the mahjong prowess was a little questionable for her to take at face-value. But Shizuru had said time and time again that no, her family was not part of the yakuza and yes, the tattoo on her father's back was due to him losing a bet with a colleague years ago, not because he was a high-ranking boss in the system like the rumors often said. It was a strange sort of tattoo to want to ink on just because of a bet, but Shizuru had merely said that it was a rather large bet, and left it at that. It wasn't as if Natsuki could complain, though. She wasn't too bad at the game and playing with Shizuru was an enjoyment in itself. Besides, the brief click-clack of tiles hitting one another and the general quiet that surrounded these casual games gave them a soft sense of comfort. Tonight the box came out and was placed on the table. Usually Reito and Yukino stopped by to complete the four players needed for a full game, but tonight it would be just the two of them running through the tiles. It was still pretty early to be running around at the club but they couldn't take their chances. Suzushiro was getting better and better at learning what they were up to so she could uphold the moral pieces—peace, Yukino would say.

So when their door nearly burst open to the stubborn pounding against it, Natsuki groaned and rolled her eyes. They were trying to go out and have fun with their lives right now, who on earth could be trying to ruin it? They paid the utilities already and the cable bill wasn't due for another two weeks. She made to open the door when Shizuru cleared her throat and gave a pointed look towards the dirty tank top Natsuki had been in the process of trying to take off after having had a rough day with her Ducati. The frayed bottom was riding up on her waist, giving off a nice view of abs that Shizuru was sure she wanted to keep for her eyes only. Besides, the shirt was covered in black oil stains and no one polite would answer a door looking like a slob. Shizuru twirled her finger around once and Natsuki gave a sort of huffy little sigh before marching past her to go back to their bedroom. Before she safely made it past, she yelped as she felt a hand smack her bottom with enough force to make her jump.

"Jeez!" she cried as she rubbed the smarting spot. "That scared the hell out of me! Are you ever going to quit doing that?"

Shizuru shook her head and walked over towards the door while chuckling to herself. Natsuki frowned but ducked into their room to find a more appropriate top as Shizuru opened the door at the last set of uneven pounds. She blinked and her hand shot out to catch the balled up fist before it could knock her upside her head.

"Ara..."

She was clearly not expecting someone's head to pound into her chest with enough force to make her breath come out in one small puff. But Shizuru was raised to keep calm over almost anything, and she took the time out to analyze her current situation. This seemed to be a girl. Okay. This seemed to be a cute girl. Even better! Shizuru even felt her eyes lighting up at this development until she noticed that this cute girl had short orange hair and was currently making her shirt uncomfortably wet. Oh, now she remembered the name of this cute, gibbering poor thing who looked as if she was about to coat her shirt in fluids other than just these tears. The thought of it both nauseated and worried her. She had dealt with fan girls' tears plenty of times, but those were the tears that did not come from the bottom of the heart like these sobs were readily drawing from. Natsuki poked her head out the door before her eyes widened.

"Mai?"

Mai looked up in faint surprise as if she had fully expected that voice to belong to the warm body she was crying on top of, not to the curious girl down the hall. It was then that she realized that those eyes looking at her were crimson, not clover, and she immediately began to back away from a faintly-surprised Shizuru.

"I... I'm so sorry, Shizuru-san," she managed to mumble through that thick haze of tears.

"No, it's alright," Shizuru murmured in response. "No need to apologize."

She placed her hands on Mai's upper arms. Holding her at arm's length for now would be the best thing. She wasn't quite ready for another clingy hold—a real one that required more feeling than what she gave her fan girls, at least—but she felt that if she let go completely, the seemingly heartbroken girl in front of her would clam up and never talk. Natsuki shifted so that her chin rested slightly on Shizuru's shoulder. Mai's eyes were already beginning to puff up despite her best efforts to wipe away those tears with the palms of her hands. She took in what looked to be damp hair.

"Wait, is it raining outside?"

Sure enough, when she looked out past Mai a nice downpour was occurring outside. So much for outrageously fun clubbing. But that was the last thing on their minds as Shizuru went into auto-pilot and directed a sniffling Mai on the couch, sitting her down and going into the kitchen to make something warm to drink while Natsuki busily shuffled through the linen closet in the bedroom. She returned with a large towel that she placed over Mai's head and shoulders. Immediately her hands briskly ran over those short locks of hair through the towel, seeping up the excess moisture and leaving the girl looking less bedraggled than she did when she nearly fell into Shizuru's arms at the beginning of this strange turn of events. Mai listlessly stared at the tea cup set in front of her before turning her gaze towards equally earnest pairs of crimson and emerald eyes. The former pair was mildly interested whereas the latter pair was quietly going over what could have possibly happened. Mai had all the signs of looking like she had just lost a part of herself to that storm outside. Her lips trembled and her fingers shook slightly as she attempted to try and take the tea cup from the table to her lips. Shizuru looked out in alarm and managed to salvage both the cup and the girl as those fingers reached their tolerance over the heat that seared into her fingertips. Natsuki watched this rare loss of grace from the younger girl before finally raising her voice to speak.

"... Tell me what's wrong, Mai."

Now her shoulders stiffened and Natsuki raised an eyebrow. She knew this reaction. It was the sort of reaction she was given countless times, which would be immediately followed by Natsuki getting out there and "fixing" the situation that caused this reaction in the first place. She had built quite the reputation for herself in terms of righting wrongs in a way that consisted of her fists and the perpetrator's busted face, and Mai never really accepted that sort of vigilantism. The two of them had kept out of touch slightly because of this, but they were still friends at the end of the day. Mai had helped her open up, caused her to look beyond her own struggles in light of the situation as it were. It was only fair that Natsuki made Mai's life a bit easier here and there when she could. But this stiffening of Mai's shoulders carried with it a sense of loss and bewilderment that Natsuki had only seen once, maybe twice. She was pretty sure she had seen it during the Carnival, when the victims of their seemingly selfish vendettas began to pile up one after the other, tearing Mai's life apart first with her brother's death and then with Yuuichi's demise.

Shizuru sighed at Natsuki's demand. The girl made an excellent Kaichou in her no-nonsense form of governing but that method really wasn't going to be the way to go if they wanted to find an answer by the end of tonight. That said, Shizuru motioned towards Natsuki to drop her line of questioning for a second. Natsuki gave her a faint nod in response and watched as Shizuru got up from her seat, walked over towards Mai, and knelt down in front of her. Eye contact was important to establish first, and Shizuru waited patiently until those violet eyes got over their unconscious fear of her crimson eyes. When she finally had Mai looking at her and not past her, Shizuru gently grasped onto Mai's hands and squeezed them in a reassuring manner. These hands... Shizuru paused as she felt those masked callouses. She was no stranger to them—her own hands had been roughened from hours spinning a naginata around and she took great pains to keep them smooth. They were different from her Natsuki's hands where the skin had been rubbed raw from countless hours on a motorcycle. The knuckles were more prominent due to the reinforced growth from the punches the girl used to throw freely at anyone and everything. But Shizuru knew that those hands could be just as gentle as they were rough, even if they did fumble from time to time between the two extremes. These hands, Mai's hands, knew a lot about decent hard work. Work for your goals, and you will succeed. They never knew failure from hard work. So this situation was confusing. The fingers twitched as if they itched to complete something, but what? What was there to work on?

"It's okay, Mai-han. Whoever caused this to you isn't here now. You can tell us."

When Shizuru used her voice to the fullest effect without the playful tone laced in it, there was no living force on this earth that wouldn't succumb to those dulcet notes and the compassion behind them. Natsuki blinked to get herself out of the daze before she smiled faintly. No wonder Shizuru had so many of those girls running after her like a mob of bees to the finest flowers. The rare drop of nectar they could pull out on occasion would be worth everything to them.

Mai shook her head as if to wish everything away but Shizuru was still in front of her when she opened her eyes once again. Natsuki was still perched on the couch's arm with her feet on the seat and her elbows on her knees, watching her through those quiet green eyes of hers. For a second she wondered if she really should have stopped by, but she shook her head once more and let out a choked noise as the tears returned, wetting her cheeks and causing her throat to burn as she tried to keep them in.

"What did he want from me...?"

Natsuki raised an eyebrow before the alarm began to ring in her brain. She shifted so that she was now on her feet. Shizuru looked up in mild alarm as Natsuki began to pace the living room.

"Natsuki?"

"That idiot."

Natsuki smashed her right fist against her open palm.

"I am going to _kill_ him." She paused and looked down at Mai. "Tate did something to you, didn't he?"

Mai shook her head even more and grasped onto her head with her hands. Shizuru felt her arms raise and she stood up accordingly, keeping her hands latched onto Mai.

"He... cheated. He cheated on me."

Natsuki's eyes grew wide.

"What?!"

"I just don't understand _why_," Mai choked, ignoring Natsuki's question. "He never said _anything_. I thought it was all okay, even if I didn't know if I was doing anything right at all. Why couldn't he... Why couldn't he have just _said something_? Anything! Just... Just not..."

She dissolved into a raw sob but this time Shizuru threw her own caution out the window as she let Mai's arms encircle her waist. She ran her fingers against the damp orange hair in soothing lines as Mai's forehead rested against her stomach. The muffled sobs filled the tense silence that had settled over Natsuki and Shizuru as they exchanged a look.

"That's it," Natsuki declared. "I am going to find that fucker and beat the shit out of—"

"Not tonight, Natsuki," Shizuru muttered.

"But..."

"No. Not tonight."

Natsuki groaned in frustration but did not pick up her jacket and storm out like she would have wanted to. She saw where Shizuru was coming from. Those muffled sobs had lessened to what sounded like sniffling. Mai wasn't really back from her momentary loss of control. Natsuki made a noncommittal noise and stretched her arms over her head as she tried to work out the sudden jittery feeling in her limbs. She ached to go find that punk and give him a nice talking-to with her fists but that really wasn't going to go over that well. Not if she wanted to avoid sleeping on the couch for a week. Shizuru had a very amazing sense of selective vision but something this blatant would be in bad taste, especially right now.

Crying was such an exhausting activity. Mai felt herself being led down the hall and to the bedroom where she was then pushed into a bed. The sheets carried a mixture of jasmine and mint, incredibly different from the smells that she was used to in her own room. But change was good right now in her opinion and she immediately sank into a deep sleep. Shizuru congratulated herself on her successful soothing mission and made to get up when she found herself nearly getting yanked back to the bed. She blinked and looked down to see that Mai's hand was still latched onto her shirt. At first the sight was irresistibly cute and Shizuru simply stood there with a smile on her face, but soon it became rather troublesome to just stand there and look at this hand. When Shizuru tried to pry the fingers apart the expression on Mai's face turned out to be so heartbreaking that she finally threw her hands up in mild frustration and stood there to think of another tactic. Natsuki stepped into the bedroom and raised an eyebrow at Shizuru until the older girl motioned down towards the dilemma. Now it was Natsuki's turn to narrow her eyes and smile at her girlfriend while Shizuru stood there with a somewhat miffed expression on her face.

"Well, it can't be helped I guess. Unless... well, can you take that shirt off?"

"Natsuki!" Shizuru hissed with a whisper. "Not in front of our guest?"

Natsuki raised an eyebrow and looked down towards Mai.

"... But she's asleep. C'mon, just try it."

Shizuru gave a cautious look towards Mai before hooking her fingers against the hem of her shirt. When she tried to tug her shirt up, however, Mai made some strange gurgle of a noise and yanked, causing Shizuru to roughly lean forward much to Natsuki's amusement. Shizuru stopped herself short of bashing her head into Mai's and she sighed before feeling her shirt loosen slightly. After some fidgeting around the shirt was free from her head and shoulders and now Mai was the sole holder of what was once a very nice lavender shirt. Shizuru took in the wrinkled and tear-soaked fabric with a sad expression before she felt Natsuki's hand pat her on the back.

"Good job, Shizuru. Thanks for taking care of Mai."

"Whatever makes her happy, I suppose." Shizuru sighed once more. "Still... that was one of my favorite shirts."

Natsuki's hand rested on her back as she thought. Shizuru followed her thoughtful gaze with a curious one of her own, prompting Natsuki to smile slightly before walking over the wardrobe. After some shuffling she picked up another t-shirt and tossed it to Shizuru. The older girl caught it and put it on, accepting a heavier sweater before following her out into the living room. They picked up the full tea-cup and set it aside for now before sitting down on the couch.

"... Happiness, huh."

"Natsuki?"

"Ah, sorry." Natsuki grinned in reassurance. "I was just thinking about us for a second there."

Shizuru rested her chin on her palm.

"What about us?"

"Hm... I was just remembering those days when we weren't... like this, you know?" Natsuki waved a hand to emphasize. "Like this, sitting here, doing whatever we pleased without feeling awkward about it."

"Those days... Mm. I remember. It wasn't too long ago when we were uncertain about how we stood in the future." Shizuru smiled. "But Natsuki, please remember one thing."

"Hm?"

"Despite our own difficulties... there was never anyone else I would have looked at." Shizuru's smile grew a touch fonder and she laughed softly. "No matter what, these eyes of mine were always on you. It makes me sound like a desperate stalker now that I think back on it."

"Not at all," Natsuki argued with another wave of her hand. "It was the same here. No one else." Her voice grew thoughtful. "But maybe that was our happiness? Each other? I never really answered that question when I was asked it by Tate, come to think of it."

"He asked you if you were happy?"

"Well, he did, and I answered that one well enough. But there was another question hidden in there, now that I think about it. He wanted to ask me what it was. What is happiness?"

Shizuru made a contemplative noise in the back of her throat.

"It's an interesting question. When you find the answer let me know, okay?"

"Huh?" Natsuki blinked at Shizuru's nonchalant response. "You mean you don't know?"

The laughter that came from her Shizuru caused Natsuki to frown.

"I'm serious here!"

"So am I," Shizuru replied mirthfully.

Natsuki wondered if this was Shizuru playing dumb to rile her up again but her eyes were open and those crimson irises were shining with something other than amusement.

"There is no answer to that, Natsuki. People always say they know. Songs have been written about it and countless tales have been told. Happiness is a warm gun. Happiness is cake and ice cream on one's birthday or a fine bottle of wine being uncorked for the first time after fifty years. Happiness is a first kiss shared in the rain. Happiness is being alive. Happiness is being dead. It can be anything, so at the same time it can be nothing."

Natsuki crossed her arms and tapped her fingers in a loose rhythm as she digested this statement. Shizuru paused for a moment to take in the small sense of confusion before continuing.

"... Like you and me, sharing the same breath whenever we lean in for a kiss. We breathe in as much as we can so that when we're together we can stay together as long as we can. Is that happiness, when we hold on tightly and try our hardest to never let go? Or when we share something good to eat? Or even when we say good-night to one another and wake up in the morning knowing that we are still here? It's all the same, yet it's different for others. There is no concrete answer, Natsuki. None at all. If it was that simple then wouldn't you think _everyone_ would be happy?"

"So you're saying that Tate is just digging around for nothing at all?" Natsuki asked with a soft frown.

Shizuru frowned and her eyes narrowed.

"People ask one another oftentimes just what happiness is, but eventually one is faced with a choice to find it out for themselves or to wait for it. To each their own, of course. But Yuuichi-han managed to drag the lives of two broken girls down with him during this process. Cheating is not something I would tolerate under _any_ circumstance."

"Ohh... that's the Kaichou-voice I'm hearing," Natsuki commented. "It's been a while since I heard that tone of voice from you."

"But Natsuki, try not to land him in the hospital," Shizuru said with a sigh.

"Don't worry about that," Natsuki replied with an offhanded shrug. "I'm not too keen on missing a day of school myself. Still..."

She looked out towards the bedroom.

"... Where are we going to sleep?"

"Ah. I forgot about that."

"Shizuru..."

"Natsuki, you were the one who wanted a one-bedroom anyway. You should get the couch and I'll have the extra futon."

"Whu—no way! The couch is hard as hell!"

Shizuru dodged the cushion Natsuki had tossed her way as she walked over to the linen closet to take out the futon. Natsuki watched her go with a fond smile on her face before her eyes dimmed back towards her memories. There was a time she had sincerely wondered how far they would walk together as a couple until they broke apart. During the year and seven months they spent tied up in their own insecurities and vices, this thought had been the mainstay of her brooding as she slept on this couch. Where would she have been if they didn't make up? Natsuki didn't even want to know. Shizuru caught the forlorn look on Natsuki's face and smiled before patting the space next to her in the futon. After shutting off the light, Natsuki crawled into the warmed futon and leaned in for a good night kiss. They laid there in the stillness, simply content with holding onto one another. Natsuki opened one eye and studied Shizuru's peaceful expression before she sighed and closed her eye to sleep.

_Oh, how we regret those things we do. _

Mai woke up to the sound of something cooking in the kitchen. She looked around in a daze before noticing the shirt in her hands. It wasn't one of hers. Immediately she registered her surroundings. This was Natsuki's apartment, but Natsuki didn't wear purple. Then... She paused and stared at the shirt, taking in its wrinkled and tear-stained state. She remembered. With a shuddering sigh she attempted to smooth the shirt but found her efforts useless and instead she settled with simply laying the shirt out before slipping out of bed and walking into the living room. It was a strange sight, but she had never seen the two in their apartment so early in the morning. Natsuki was sprawled out on the futon laid out in the living room. She breathed in and out through her mouth, failing to snore yet making a fair amount of noise regardless. Mai shook her head at that before she caught sight of another strange sight. Shizuru was humming. That wasn't so strange. But Shizuru was humming, flipping eggs in a pan, and wearing a most adorable light blue apron with her hair twisted up and out of the way. Mai blinked and tried to commit the image into her mind. Shizuru paused in her humming when she turned to put the eggs on several separate plates and caught sight of Mai in the process.

"Ara, you're up early," Shizuru greeted with a smile. "Did you sleep alright last night?"

"Ah! Um... Y-yes, I did." Mai fidgeted for a moment. "Um... Do you need help?"

"It's alright, I'm almost done. I hope you don't mind having just eggs and toast." Shizuru sighed in disappointment. "Honestly, I told Natsuki to go to the store but I guess the girl forgot. I also have some rice porridge if you'd want that instead."

"No, it's fine. But..."

"Hm? Oh. We can let her sleep for a few more minutes. She was up earlier swimming laps at the pool."

Mai nodded and joined the former Kaichou at the table. They ate in silence for about five minutes and Mai took in the unfamiliar yet good meal. Usually she was up at early hours to make an obscene amount of food for Mikoto, so to be treated to a free home-cooked breakfast was a rare thing indeed.

"I'm sorry about your shirt."

Shizuru shrugged and offered a genuine smile as she placed her egg on the toast.

"Don't worry about it, Mai-han."

Mai set down her cup and frowned as she stared at the remaining juice.

"... What do I do now?"

Shizuru looked up from her egg and toast and considered this statement.

"Well... anything you want, really. The ball is now in your court, as the saying goes."

Mai thought about this for a second before she looked up into those calm eyes.

"Back then, I used to think that you and Natsuki were never going to work out."

Shizuru paused.

"Ara... that's a bit bold of you, Mai-han."

"I know... but please hear me out." Mai sighed. "I used to think... that because of your reputation as a flirty type, coupling that with Natsuki's serious ways would have only spelled out disaster. The Carnival made everyone a little crazy... when I heard about what happened between the two of you I worried about Natsuki. I thought that, even if the two of you tried, it might not work out. And it almost didn't, but today I see the two of you and... I don't know how to explain."

"... You wonder why it is not the same with you and Yuuichi-han," Shizuru finished.

"... Yes."

Shizuru offered a patient smile as she stood and gathered up the empty dishes.

"Well, I don't quite know the answer to that. But it seems that perhaps whatever it was Yuuichi-han was looking for, he did not find. The explanation is a bit callous but I hope it gets my point across. That said, it isn't your fault."

"It isn't?" Mai asked in a disbelieving tone.

"No. You were the one who worked with what you were given. You didn't look past him to search for someone else. Most things in life work through a reciprocal relationship, Mai-han. One cannot expect things to come to them simply by standing still and waiting. On the other hand, no matter how much effort one puts into something, if the effort isn't returned then there is no meaning. In some way, Yuuichi-han was waiting for something."

"Something?"

"... Happiness, I suppose." Shizuru leaned back to get the time off of the DVD-player in the living room. "Oh, it's time. Natsuki, wake up. I have some rice porridge ready for you."

Natsuki shot up to her feet so fast that Mai nearly jumped back. The dark-haired girl paid her no heed as she scrambled over to the kitchen where Shizuru revealed the contents of the heavy pot she had set on one of the burners. A cloud of steam puffed up when she removed the lid and gave Natsuki a spoon. The contents were, of course, rice porridge, but there were some embellishments in the form of finely-chopped vegetables. Mai looked at the dish and raised an eyebrow.

"You made this?" she asked Shizuru, who in turn smiled and nodded.

"If I didn't do at least some of the cooking here, we would have gained an unhealthy amount of weight due to Natsuki's mayonnaise obsession."

"Shizuru, mayonnaise contains eggs and stuff too," Natsuki pointed out before she dug into the porridge.

"Remember to take a few bananas with you," Shizuru said, setting down three of the yellow fruits. "Mai-han, have one as well."

"Oh, okay."

Mai peeled back the skin of the ripe fruit and took a bite. She sat and watched Natsuki polish off this dish that normally would have fed two people for dinner, but here she was scraping the bottom of the pot with her spoon and nearly cleaning it for Shizuru. Natsuki then settled for a banana and sighed in her satiation.

"Well, today is going to be a fantastic day," she announced before biting into her banana. "Wouldn't you think so, Shizuru?"

"Ara, I suppose it will be."

"Mm. Well, I'm ready to go anytime you are, Mai."

"... Go?"

Natsuki snorted.

"To school, of course! Where did you think we'd be going? We'll have to stop by your place to get your uniform and bag, but that wouldn't take too long."

Mai stared at the two before she found herself smiling at them.

"... Thank you, both of you."

* * *

Yuuichi shifted his bag so that he flung it over his shoulder in a relaxed pose. Today was a seemingly warm day due to the sun but he knew that appearances could be deceiving. Underneath his unbuttoned black jacket he wore a v-necked sweater that helped ward off some of the chill he felt as a wind blasted his back. Maybe he imagined it at first, but that wind soon carried his eventual doom when his ears picked up on the sound of a very familiar roar. There was only one thing that could make that loud of a noise, and it was traveling straight towards him. He stood still and waited.

The Ducati would have clipped him if it was some ordinary driver controlling it. But Natsuki had years of experience handling the exotic motorcycle and as a result he only felt the biting wind scrape past him along with the deafening noise of the engine. His left ear was still ringing even as he watched the motorcycle race down the street. Kaichou wasn't alone, either, and the passenger was not the former Kaichou. Instead another student wearing the Fuuka uniform was clinging onto Natsuki tightly and wearing the spare helmet Natsuki had begun to carry around shortly after her induction as the student council president. Yuuichi watched them zip out of his sight until he sighed and adjusted his bag. He was a dead man walking, he knew this, but still his footsteps brought him closer and closer to his eventual execution, whether it was by the Kaichou's fist or by the social isolation he would eventually put himself under. So he went to school, and he sat in his classes until lunch hour. The last class for the day would be spent in the Student Council room, and he prepared himself.

Yukino, as always, was the first to arrive. She was already typing away at the computer and adjusting the slipping armband wrapped around her jacket sleeve when Yuuichi slid the door open and walked in. She gave him a silent look but returned to her typing after a distracted albeit polite greeting. So she didn't know anything. For a moment Yuuichi wondered what nice, polite, shy Yukino would do if she had known. Maybe she would have given him a disgusted look, or even taken a page from Suzushiro's book and attempted to lecture with him on his poor life choice. The minutes passed by in this mutual silence as Yuuichi sat and read through the stacked papers on the Kaichou's desk while Yukino typed away. Maybe Kuga wasn't going to come in today. Today seemed like a skip day after all considering it was Friday. Shizuru had no classes on Friday and Natsuki typically divided her time between the swimming pool and her girlfriend, not at the Student Council Room. Yuuichi nearly felt disappointed. Then the door slammed open and in walked the Kaichou followed closely by the Secretary. Now Yukino looked up and paused in her typing to greet the two, whereupon Yuuichi realized with a jolt that, indeed, Yukino did know. It was all there, written in her dismissive behavior as she returned to her typing and the cup of coffee Natsuki had handed her. Natsuki walked over to her desk and sat down. The first thing she did was take a sip of coffee, then she shifted her attention towards the separate packets of papers scattered around the desk. Shiho took up her post by the computer when Yukino stood up and let her have it. The Executive Director adjusted her glasses and nodded towards the two senior members.

"Well then, shall we?" she asked softly.

Yuuichi blinked in mild confusion but Natsuki nodded and set the papers down. It was then that he realized that she had not taken a seat the entire time she was in the room. Usually the Kaichou would park herself down on the chair and rest her feet up on the desk, ready for a snooze or reading a motorcycle magazine whenever it got too bothersome to pay attention.

"Come on, Tate."

Natsuki said this in a bored tone of voice, as if they were about to take on something extremely bothersome. Yuuichi got up to his feet and wordlessly followed the two girls out of the room and down the hall to the stairwell. They took the stairs up several stories until they exited into the roof. It was pretty cold up here with a small breeze that occasionally picked up, but the sun was out and the sky was clear.

All in all, it was a pretty good day.

Natsuki took off her jacket and stood there in front of him with a light-blue sweater vest over her usual white button down shirt. The tail of the shirt poked out and the collar was spread wide with the ends flapping this way and that due to a sudden gust of wind. Yukino wordlessly accepted the jacket and Natsuki walked over to the railing, calmly folding up the sleeves of her shirt as she did so. Yuuichi would later compare this strange routine as to being an executioner's meticulous routine to ready himself for the day. To Yuuichi's surprise, however, Natsuki reached behind her ear and pulled out a slim white stick. A cigarette? No, it was too thin to be a cigarette. The sound of a plastic wrapper being carelessly ripped open and tossed out into the wind alerted him to the bright pink lollipop that Natsuki now popped into her mouth. She stood there with the lollipop until she finally turned around and rested her elbows on the railing.

"I'll give you one chance to explain what you did. You can start talking anytime. I'm not too busy today."

Yuuichi turned his gaze over towards Yukino.

"Why is she here, then, if you only want me to talk?"

"Don't worry," Yukino replied quietly. "I'm only here to make sure things don't go out of hand."

He gave her a cautious look before nodding to himself. Well, that was a relief. Maybe Kuga wasn't going to bust his ass. There was an audible crunch as she chomped down on the hard candy.

Wishful thinking.

"So you've heard, I'm guessing." When there was no response Yuuichi swallowed uneasily. "I don't see how I have to explain myself. I did what I did, and I'm not that sorry over it."

"Did you find what you were looking for?" Natsuki asked after examining what was left of the lollipop.

"... I don't know."

"Hm." Natsuki rested the end of the stick between her teeth and pushed herself up off the railing. "I'll take that as a no."

What? Maybe she didn't hear him. But then it occurred to him that it really didn't matter what he said. Kuga Natsuki was giving him a bored look, like she wanted him to shut up for a second and at least try not to fail in defending himself. There was no real way in defending himself. He was caught cheating on his girlfriend and he didn't even try to chase her down and explain himself. He even got angry at her, at her! What was he going to say to save himself? Ah, it was no use.

"... Hit me, then."

"Hm?"

"I said, hit me, then." Yuuichi tucked his hands in his pockets. "There's no use in trying to argue my case."

"... Troublesome, and boring." Natsuki sighed. "Is that all you're going to have to show for yourself, Tate? You're better than that."

"Yeah, well, obviously not!" Yuuichi yelled suddenly. "I went and fucked your best friend over, Kuga. What, are you too good to lay one on me now that I've screwed my life up even more? All of you just piss me off! Sitting there, looking down on me because that just seems to be the most you can do. Well I've had it! I'm finally trying to get what I want and all you're going to do is look at me like I'm a lost cause. I'm sick of this shit!"

"Still going on with that crusade of yours, Tate? You're not even looking straight ahead anymore, just at your feet. Where are you going?"

"Hell if know, but anywhere's better than here," he snarled. "Why don't you go back to your owner like the dog you are, Kuga. You're not even here on your own conviction."

Yukino took in a deep breath. By the time she let it out Yuuichi was sprawled out on the rooftop clutching his cheek with one hand. Natsuki stood before him with her fist out. Oh, but now Yuuichi wasn't just content to sit and take it. He hopped up to his feet and brought his fists out as well. Yukino frowned but Natsuki grinned in response.

"Do it, then. Show me how serious you are," she said, and Yuuichi finally exploded.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew it was wrong to go all out against a girl but he didn't really care. She blocked his incoming punch and retaliated with a quick hook to his ribs that he deflected by twisting his body to glance the blow. His other fist was lightning quick and found its home in her stomach, but she took the blow and responded by clocking him clean across the jaw. In hindsight he knew that she could have easily avoided anything he threw at her, but for some reason she dug her heels in and _took it_. Their feet twisted and pivoted but they never lifted them as they traded blows back and forth in this surreal brawl for dominance with the meek Executive Director watching over them. Finally Yuuichi found an opening for her head and aimed a punch square for her eye. She seemed to have gotten the same idea and aimed a punch for his head as well. Their fists rubbed against each other and passed one another as they found their homes. A cross-counter. Yukino let out a low whistle, but she knew who won this fight. Yuuichi felt his knees grow weak and he stumbled backwards before finally falling onto his back. Natsuki stood over him, breathing heavily through a busted lip. She looked like she was going to have a decent black eye at the rate her left eye was swelling. She could have walked away unhurt. She could have.

"Why couldn't you have moved," Yuuichi said in between pants.

"I wanted to try standing still for once."

Yuuichi stared up at the sky, slightly away from the sun shining above them. Natsuki lazily looked up and smiled.

"It's still a good day," Natsuki declared after she spat out a glob of blood and spit. "You still have time to fix yourself up, Tate."

"... You're only doing this for Mai," he growled.

Natsuki's grin faded and she tugged him up by the collar of his shirt.

"I'm doing this for you, dumbass!" she roared. She shoved him back down. "Get your fool head together and figure out what the fuck you want out of your life. I can't keep your shit together for you. Next time I'm not going to hold back."

Yuuichi slammed his fist against the roof once before flashing a one-fingered salute towards Natsuki who merely sneered at him.

"Yeah, that's a good look for you. Go get yourself cleaned up and go to the nurse if you need to. Yukino, I'm going to the nurse. I fell off my bike."

Yuuichi let his head drop back down as Natsuki turned and grabbed her jacket from Yukino. After rolling down her sleeves she pulled on the jacket and took in a short puff of air before turning towards the exit, followed closely by Yukino. Yuuichi stared at the clear sky, feeling his head begin to pound from the multiple hits to the face and body he just received from those fists.

"I'm not gonna last that much longer now," he muttered.

* * *

What goes up, must come down, but the opposite did not necessarily ring true. The earth still revolved around the sun and went through its rotations despite the feeling that the world was coming to a strange standstill for the denizens of Fuuka. This was not the anxious quiet before the apocalypse like it was during the final stages of the Carnival, however. In some aspects this was an even more unbearable sort of silence because no one knew what was going to happen next. At least with the Carnival one of the options was known even if it was the unappealing aspect of losing one's most important person. They knew what they were fighting for. But now, with no real conflict in this very real world, there was no race against the clock. If anything the clock was now slowing to an agonizing crawl. Time never seemed to pass by easily when the choices that built up or knocked down someone's world depended on another person and not some outward circumstance.

Kanzaki Reito was no stranger to this sensation. He had spent some time walking outside of their circle of twelve, an honorary member of their club and yet the indirect source of their ensuing bitterness. Only Shizuru seemed to look at him with unmasked eyes, but that may have been because of their similar nature and the fact that they had been friends before this. But Shizuru had Natsuki, and Natsuki viewed Reito as sort of a rival during their time after the Carnival. In some ways this was a good thing for the girl, for she picked herself up and began to use her talents to her full potential rather than scrape by, but soon Reito could feel a hint of wistfulness whenever he saw the happiness the two gave one another. He never really considered what it was that made them happy, however. It was what it was—brooding over it wouldn't have done anything good for him. Some things just turned out different despite the same steps being taken. He was sad, of course, when Mai finally decided on Yuuichi, but at least she made a concrete decision and let him go to find himself. He took the opportunity as it came and got to know his sister again. Mikoto was a precocious child who still viewed the world through fascinated eyes, causing him to open his eyes a little more to the situations occurring around him. Being a playboy and drawing a line of girls in after him wasn't the way he wanted to live life. But what could he do? There was really no one else for him, to be honest.

So when the whispers of cheating tickled his ears he stopped and listened. No one went and said anything out loud, but things had a way of getting around despite how much others wanted to keep it shut in. When Mai and Yuuichi were mentioned in the same topic he opened up his ears and took the information in with cups of tea and a long chat with his closest friend the former Kaichou. When he was finished listening he sat down and thought about it. At first he felt a surge of anger fill his normally complacent self. How could he? How could Yuuichi go and ruin something that had been given to him so freely? Reito would ball his hands up into fists and fume to himself, silently, but as soon as he found himself doing that he would stop. What was the use, anyway. It wasn't his life that was ruined or in the process of being ruined at the moment. Plus Natsuki seemed to have taken care of the "beating the crap out of him" part with her own battle injuries for Shizuru to cluck disapprovingly over. With that in mind Reito took in a deep breath and really looked into the problem. It wasn't his place to go off on his junior. Yuuichi was an adult, and even if he didn't consider all of the consequences it wasn't as if he was being forced to go and cheat, multiple times at that. Neither could he blame Shiho. She was just there at the right place at the wrong time, and that sentiment alone was something Reito could relate to. Would he have been the same if given the chance? He considered it but in the end decided that, no, it couldn't have been the same. He had enough of a taste of deception after harboring what probably had been the king of deception in his body.

He couldn't shake the feeling that he had to see her, though. Just to see how she was doing. Mikoto spent more of her days with him now and while she knew something strange was going on, there was no elaboration on it and the curiosity was now eating away at him. So on one particularly blustery day he gathered up his coat and walked out the door. It wasn't too long of a trip on foot and the roads were familiar, so it only took him ten minutes to show up in front of the Fuuka dorms. The room was the same, so he walked up and knocked on the door twice with his knuckles. He was pleasantly surprised to see the door open, revealing a tired pair of violet eyes that blinked in faint surprise as they registered him standing outside with his chilled hands shoved into his coat pockets.

"Good afternoon, Mai-san."

"Good afternoon, Reito-san."

She opened the door a bit wider and let him in. He took in the tidy yet dark surroundings before taking off his coat and neatly hanging it up at the coat tree. She walked over to the kitchen and rummaged through the cupboard before sighing.

"I'd offer you something to drink but I'm afraid I'm out of tea," she said with a contrite smile. "I've been spending the past couple of days with Natsuki and Shizuru-san, so I haven't been able to go out grocery shopping."

"I see." Reito paused and a smile came to his face. "Well... we can go now, if you'd like."

Mai blinked, but Reito was already getting his coat and picking one up for her as well. He held it out invitingly. This dorm was too dark and the sun was still out in the clear sky outside. She needed to see that, at least. There were other people outside, people still walking around and enjoying what they had with them now. There was no need to stay locked up in a room like a bird thrown into a cage. She hesitantly took her coat and put it on while Reito opened the door for them. The world was still waiting for them as they entered and then exited the grocery store a half hour later. They walked side by side with the white plastic grocery bags in their hands. The walk was quiet, but neither of them had much to talk about and in some ways they preferred to keep it that way. As they returned to Mai's room and put away the groceries in a mechanical silence, Mai finally turned and looked into his golden eyes.

"Why?"

Reito paused in the middle of putting away some radishes in the refrigerator. He straightened and frowned contemplatively.

"... I don't know."

Mai seemingly nodded to herself and rested her hands on the kitchen counter top. He stood slightly to the right of her with his back facing her back. The sleeves of his black button-up shirt were rolled up past his wrists and he tucked his hands in the pockets of his slacks. There came a soft jingling noise as his fingers bumped into the loose change he had. They stood there in this companionable silence, each of them weighed down by their own guilt. He had tried to manipulate her and she had rejected him in favor of another. But this other was not in the picture anymore, and now there stood two broken individuals staring out in opposite directions.

"Where do we go from here?" he asked suddenly.

We. No I, no you. We.

"... I won't ask you to be here for me," Mai said slowly. "I'm not ready for that yet. The only thing I can ask you for is time."

"Then I will give it to you," he replied.

She sighed and he took this as his cue to leave. He picked up his coat and shrugged it on before opening the door once more and stepping out.

"... Come back sometime, for dinner. I still make more than I should."

Reito turned and offered a small smile to those tired eyes. There was a difference between tired and dead. At least when one was tired, one could simply go rest and wake up refreshed once more. So he smiled and nodded his head.

"I will."

His feelings, her feelings, their feelings. Everything was insignificant when compared to the magnitude of the world they lived in. But for Reito, something like that could cause a sheer universe of possibilities. For him, the clock had begun to start ticking once more after going dead for so long. He would have to break down these walls before she atrophied, and it was no small task to accomplish. But he wasn't a nobody tossed out like a lost boat in stormy seas. He was Kanzaki Reito, and he believed in himself.

* * *

AN: Well, here is an option that you could help me decide on. I could conceivably continue this or write this off as an ambiguous ending. I am leaning on the former right now.

Another note: Yuuichi is written a little more wildly than I had predicted. The sad thing about that is, I've seen situations where people have acted a lot more wildly in light of the circumstance. I couldn't really imagine a "oh no don't hit me bawwww" Yuuichi well enough to put it in words. Also, I think Shizuru would be the most likely candidate to explain what happiness could be construed as. She seems the type to have thought about it extensively, only to find that the answer wasn't really something she wanted to agree with at first.

Please let me know what you think!

Cheers.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello again, author here.

This took a long time to punch through because this chapter out of the other three was actually very difficult to put into words. It might have been because this is more of a personal reflection than anything else, lol.

Mai-hime belongs to Sunrise. Lyrics belong to Eve 6 - On the Roof Again, with some mingling with Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Maps

* * *

The two best friends sat across from one another with small plastic lunch boxes set out in front of them. The somewhat bruised and battered Kaichou sat in her customary chair and Mai sat across from her on a borrowed seat. The office was empty save for the two of them, which was just as well. Natsuki had shut the doors earlier and dug into her lunch silently while Mai merely picked at her food. Deep down, she knew where the inevitable conversation was going to go and she personally dreaded the coming of it. Natsuki and Shizuru and seen the two of them leave Mai's room when they were in the process of stopping by. No words were shared between the four of them, but Reito's suddenly quiet expression was more than enough for Shizuru to narrow her eyes and for Natsuki to set up this meeting in short, clipped tones. And now Mai sat, and picked through her lunch some more before finally clapping the lid on the lunch box shut and pushing it back into her bag. Natsuki watched her go through the motions before she finally set her chopsticks down and closed her empty lunch box. The Kaichou leaned back and rested her arms against the arm rests of the chair before she sighed.

"You think it's too soon, don't you?" Mai began softly.

Natsuki tapped her fingers against her lunch box before resting her chin on the palm of her hand. In this position her lips were already pressed into a firm line, making it difficult to distinguish between separate emotions.

"It's not my place to say much of anything about what you're doing, especially if you're already set on this," Natsuki replied in a muffled tone, but the frown on her face was clearly visible.

Mai nodded to herself but already she could feel the slow burning churn of anger settle in the pit of her stomach. This was unfair. She was the one who got cheated on and her best friend was staring at _her_ with those slightly disapproving eyes? Granted, Natsuki did beat Yuuichi around the roof and gave him some fantastic facial rearrangement, but all Mai had done was entertain Reito over for dinner a few times and now she was being given the stern Kaichou treatment in response. Maybe Shizuru was interrogating Reito right now on one of their numerous lunch meetings, but Mai doubted it. Those two had a similar relationship in that they were close friends who rarely asked pressing questions, plus Shizuru did not look to be the interrogating type, unlike Natsuki who was quite fond of asking blunt questions.

"We aren't doing anything together. He's keeping his distance when it comes to me."

"For now, you mean. Sooner or later that's going to change." Natsuki closed her eyes for a moment. "Mai, I thought you were better than Tate. At least tell the idiot that you're seeing someone else before you run off with that someone else."

Mai's lips twitched.

"... It's not like you've ever had to deal with anything like this."

Natsuki gently laid a hand on the desk, causing Mai to flinch slightly. She had almost expected her friend to pound on the desk and make all sorts of noise upon hearing that statement, but Natsuki did nothing of the sort as she leaned forward.

"You know, the two of you are more alike than you'd like to realize," Natsuki replied in a low, steady voice. "Always assuming that the other person never went through what you are going through now. Tate did it when he cheated on you, and you're doing it now by assuming that I've never had troubles with Shizuru and our relationship was always a steady one."

"But you're together now and happy," Mai argued. "You had your arguments, sure, but you're still together."

"One year and seven months."

"... Huh?"

"That was how long it took for us to finally get like this, after the Carnival."

Natsuki leaned back and folded her hands on top of her stomach.

"During that time all we did was argue until even that turned into a stony silence. It wasn't pretty to say the least. We held a lot of guilt over what we did to one another during and after the Carnival, and we didn't know if we were ever going to get back to normal... Whatever normal was at the time, anyway. And I was scared, but you already knew that. The point I'm trying to make here is that, we weren't given some mythical chunk of happiness to keep for the two of us."

Mai wanted to tell her that she was wrong, terribly wrong, and happiness was merely sitting on their doorstep this entire time. They didn't have to work for it like she had to, only to have it slip from her fingertips just as she thought she had it in her grasp. She bowed her head and frowned.

"... I know that."

"Yeah, but you aren't being very conscientious over it."

Natsuki sighed.

"Listen. I think I can emphasize with you. But the fact of the matter is, you're doing something similar to what Tate did to you, even if it isn't in the same level. The relationship isn't even officially over yet, not while the two of you keep avoiding one another. The least you can do is tell him, at least."

"... You can't even drop that professionalism of yours for one second, can you?" Mai whispered bitterly.

Natsuki's eyes dimmed, giving the black eye even more prominence than it should have been given.

"Sorry, Mai. You've helped me out when I was in a rough spot and I'm forever thankful for that. You're my best friend and that's why I took this case personally. But if you're going to run around without thinking and fall into that same trap of trying to find happiness in that manner, then I can't help you."

Mai stood and placed both of her hands on the desk. Natsuki looked up at her best friend impassively, maintaining a patient silence as Mai struggled to voice her thoughts into words. It took a minute or so of fidgeting but finally Mai took in a deep breath and sighed.

"You know, I used to wish that you and Shizuru-san wouldn't get back together. Hell, I even used to wish that the fights would never end."

Natsuki raised an eyebrow at Mai's statement.

"Why do you say that?"

Mai fidgeted again for a second before she sighed and smiled sadly.

"I need more affection than you think, Natsuki," she muttered.

"... More affection?" Natsuki cleared her throat. "... From who? Me?"

Mai cleared her throat and her voice grew slightly louder as she gazed into those patient emerald green eyes. At least her friend wasn't attempting to derail the subject right now, so everything could finally be aired out.

"I used to think that we were more compatible back then. You seemed more open with me than with her, and during the Carnival it just looked like you were going to fall apart because of what had happened to you. And for those last few days before the end of the Carnival I used to think that it would have been nice, just the two of us wandering around together."

Natsuki shook her head slightly and smiled a crooked grin.

"Well... sure, I'll give you that. But that was then. I'm sorry, but I can't feel the same way about you. Plus you have Mikoto and Kanzaki... and you had Tate. Hell, you had a little harem running around at that rate."

She shrugged and chuckled, and Mai's heart twisted painfully in response at the carefree gesture.

"Honestly, I can't compete."

"I see." Mai tilted her head slightly. "I'm somewhat jealous of what you have, to be honest."

"Mh... You did have the same slice of happiness in your grasp before I did," Natsuki pointed out quietly before she stood up from her chair. "But this exercise is really getting us nowhere, especially if we're going to run around the past like this."

The bell rang, alerting the two to the five-minute warning before the next rotation of classes. Mai quietly packed her things and Natsuki watched her with a small frown on her face.

"Kanzaki is a good guy despite being a slimy little bastard when it comes to business deals," Natsuki announced finally. "But Tate needs to at least know. Don't burn all of your bridges down, Mai."

Mai said nothing as she threw Natsuki an unreadable look. Then she turned and walked away, but Natsuki caught her message and she sighed wearily as she watched her best friend leave. Maybe, maybe if the past wasn't so different, Natsuki would have said yes. If the strain and heartache really was too much to bear, then maybe she would have taken the easier path out. And she had to be honest with herself, of course there were those inklings of feelings that intensified whenever the two were together. There were many things in the past that she could have said to break one girl's heart and earn another's in return, but Natsuki had stuck firmly to the straight and narrow and refused to look anywhere but forward, towards those waiting crimson eyes. Had she looked back at it and given her past self an honest critique, she might have taken some points off for that headstrong demeanor. Right now she was happy, of course. Happy about herself, about Shizuru, and of course about their lives together. But it was a difficult thing to study objectively, this happiness of theirs. It never felt like a burden or a particularly hard struggle to maintain. She felt momentarily lost as she sat back down and folded her hands over her stomach. Her cell phone rang its familiar tune but she let it ring for a few seconds as she looked at the caller ID on the front screen.

Shizuru.

The past wasn't calling for her anymore. This was the here and now, not the what-could-have-been. Still, she watched impassively as the phone continued to ring.

_I need more affection than you think._

Mai's voice tickled her mind and she rubbed her forehead.

_Wait. They don't love you like I love you._

_Love..._

_Love..._

"... Loved."

She spoke this lone word aloud, breaking the chant in her mind.

"Nothing more, now."

Natsuki picked up the phone.

"Yo, Shizuru."

She paused and frowned contemplatively as her girlfriend spoke.

"... Really? That's interesting. No, she's pretty set on what she wants to do. I can't stop her, and quite frankly I don't feel like getting into another fight over the same deal."

She listened to the chuckles on the other line and cracked a faint grin. Natsuki leaned over to shuffle through a few papers.

"No, I shouldn't be busy then. Should I meet you there or are we going to go together?"

She leaned back on her chair.

"Together. Right. Still... That's kinda strange. But alright. See ya."

She hung up and tapped the phone against her lips.

* * *

Fuuka was always on fire with rumors, but Tate Yuuichi wasn't in any of them right now to his knowledge. Indeed, the boy had fallen off the face of the earth as far as the school's gossip-life was concerned. He attended his lessons, did the work required of him in the Student Council office, and kept his relative silence when with others. Little whispering followed him, for the situation had now taken a curious turn of events that he had almost expected in light of the consequences he had invited onto himself. Reito and Mai. Mai and Reito. Kanzaki and Tokiha. The rumors had started up when he had entered high school, and they were now continuing as he slaved through his final year in these refurbished four walls. Okay. He had expected this. He even thought about it once on a whim when they were still together and things were alright. In hindsight, everything was alright. He had these revolving conversations where his mind was firmly parked in reverse as he sat on the corner of his bed during these lonely evenings.

What else was there to do?

He attempted to quit the Student Council, handing off the papers to a silent Kuga. The Kaichou had shot him a look from underneath a partially-closed eye but she looked over the papers and handed them back two minutes later. When he looked at the papers he realized that the red stamp was not one of "Accepted" but rather "Rejected." She pointedly refused to meet his gaze even as he spent the rest of the afternoon sitting there with his eyes solely focused on that desk. When she finally picked up her helmet and tucked it under her arm, she paused and spoke only one sentence before leaving him behind.

"If you really didn't care, you wouldn't be giving up like this."

Of course, she was correct. But maybe he lied somewhere along the line and now he was realizing it. Were you allowed to go back when you realized this? Not really, but every night he laid his head down to rest and forgot about the past for seven or so hours. Waking up to an unmarked future was somewhat reassuring, but he knew that it wasn't completely clean from past blemishes and that observation only served to keep his mind firmly rooted in its own little set of iron bars. That was how he lived his life, now, sitting at his desk with his eyes never completely focused, his mind always everywhere but on the here and now.

What about Mai and Reito? He should have chased after them, caused a big ruckus, and taken his girl back with him on his majestic steed. Yuuichi found himself shaking his head every time this thought came up. No, that was a stupid idea. He wasn't the hero in this story. Everyone had changed subtly with every turn of the pages that brought them from their initial meeting in the ferry to the final conflict where the world was at stake. They weren't the same people that they were even when they had those frightening powers. These were different people now, fleshed out with circumstances that did not involve an underlying concern over victory or death. Not everything in life led to a quick and painless death. Sometimes he wondered if death would be the same now that he wasn't involved with someone like in the Carnival. He wondered if he would drift off into green sparks, or if he would shut down like a machine after having served its usefulness. This fear would freeze his insides and he oftentimes found himself wondering just what was wrong with him. With those thoughts came these late nights, and with these late nights came the late night wanderings down the streets. The weather was getting colder and colder now, and he wrapped himself up in a heavy parka and tramped down the streets with nothing much on his mind save for a desire to clean it up.

But how could you clean up that much garbage?

He absently rubbed his hands together as he waited in front of a vending machine. He made his selection after a few moments of thought and bent down to pick up two canned coffees. At least this would help his fingers keep warm for tonight. He carried the cans tightly as he walked past the streets and amusingly picked out the students currently violating curfew. If he was in particularly bad enough mood he would have berated them, but he merely shrugged and walked past them, tucking the warm cans in the pockets of his parka and closing his hands around them. It wasn't much use, anyway. People weren't always going to be caged in just because someone in a position of authority told them to go home.

Oh, but he wasn't going to change.

He walked further down the street until it took him to familiar territory. The shrine's gate was strangely welcoming and he stood next to it with a contemplative expression on his face. He had grown up around here, spending his summers tormenting a wide-eyed girl with strange pink hair. Come to think of it, he hadn't seen her in days. He wondered what she was up to, but he merely turned and walked away from that shrine. It was silly to think that after all this time and especially with the current state of events in hand for him to even consider speaking with Shiho again. He had taken in her satisfied expression upon seeing him again with a busted nose upon his reentry to the Student Council room and knew that he wasn't quite welcomed back into her arms. Fair enough. It wasn't as if he had expected to be.

Where on earth did this all go wrong?

He popped the collar of his parka up and continued to walk. No, it didn't do any good to go over the situation in his mind. His memory was shot to hell from too many replays and he couldn't concentrate well enough to recall anything especially specific. He was done being angry over it, now that he finally faced the fact that it really wasn't his right to go stomping around all over Mai's heart. Mai... He paused. He loved her, right? Not just the idea of her, at least. He liked to tell himself that he loved everything about her, but that was another fable in the book of lies he had written for his own viewing pleasure. No, it was more like the idea, now that he thought about it. The idea of stability, the idea of leaving insanity with some success rather than wallowing in failure like some of the others had taken to. Hell, even Kuga and Fujino weren't wildly successful from their jaunt outside of the Carnival, and Yuuichi had thanked his lucky stars that he didn't have to deal with that loaded mountain of drama. That was a while ago. Now he wondered if things would have been better if he had tasted that sweet misery earlier when there was still time to work things out.

Time... Time to do what, exactly? There was no time to do anything right now. Kendo still met for practice, the Student Council was now entering crunch time in preparation for another high-profile meeting, and life was more hectic than ever. Sometimes he was thankful for that kind of busy work. At least he could still his hands and let his mind focus on something rather than everything at once. But with this reprieve came the all-too-real feeling of something slipping away from his fingertips that he could not quite put words to. Of course it had to do with Mai—everything had to do with Mai. He paused, though, hesitated through explaining just _what_ Mai had to do with anything involving his life. Who was she, anyway? Nice body, kind eyes, gentle hands. A summer's child in words and actions, an unwilling heroine in a bizarre tale. Who was she to him? The world? He couldn't say. The pit of his stomach grew uncomfortably cold as he thought through this. Really. What was it? Maybe there was no such thing as happiness. He sighed quietly and watched the white steam of his breath trail up into nothingness above him. It was all the same. Life had him tethered and chained, stuck with a growing millstone around his neck in place of some semblance of wanting to know the truth. His feet took him to the window front of a rather popular cafe frequented by a good number of students with extra pocket money. He raised an eyebrow and considered getting a coffee when something caused him to stop cold.

Reito and Mai.

Mai and Reito.

Sitting. Laughing.

Happy.

They hadn't seen him yet which was a miracle considering he was staring at them with his mouth slightly agape. They were sharing what looked to be a slice of cake, and Reito was eagerly digging into the whipped icing while Mai smiled at something he had said. Yuuichi wondered how humorous it was before he snapped himself out of it. There it was, the something that Yuuichi had found terribly missing in his own attempt at salvaging happiness with Mai. Her eyes were alive. He slowly began to remember himself and the common rules of society. It was impolite to stand and stare for seemingly no reason at all. He was going to draw a crowd and act embarrassingly out of place for a Vice President of the Student Council. All of these thoughts thudded into his brain hard enough for him to jerkily turn and march away from his impending disaster. He felt someone bump into him and he stumbled for a second before regaining his footing.

"Hey—"

Shiho froze mid-yell as she registered a silent Yuuichi. Now her brief outrage morphed into a disgusted frown.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked.

Yuuichi tucked his hands into his pockets and returned to walking once more. He didn't want to deal with this all at once, but he could hear the footsteps following her and he inwardly groaned. No, he didn't even deserve to groan at the rate he was going, so finally he stopped and turned, facing Shiho with a somewhat patient expression on his face.

"Taking a walk," he replied before she could ask her question again.

"... This late?"

"I could ask the same of you."

Yuuichi began to walk once more but his steps were slower. Somehow, being with this person was enough to slow him down. He began to notice things as he walked around the block that he had probably marched through at least three times this night. After taking in a deep breath and expelling it, he found himself walking alone and he stopped, turning to see Shiho standing still slightly behind him. She seemed to fidget with herself, fingers squirming as they clasped onto each other, but she finally pursed her lips and looked up into his tired brown eyes.

"... There's a boy in my class who confessed his feelings to me," she began softly. "He wanted to know if he could go out with me."

Yuuichi exhaled in one long, drawn out breath.

"What did you tell him?" he asked after a moment.

"... Nothing yet."

She licked her lips nervously and he realized the gravity of this situation. There had never been anyone else for this girl in front of him. No one else but him, and he had trodden all over that by blatantly pushing her away. She must have suffered over this new development in her life, feeling equal amounts of bewilderment and apprehension. Was there really someone beyond him? Could there even be someone beyond him? These roads they walked on were never all that straight despite how rigid they tried to make their footsteps. Honestly he never even gave it much thought, but now the situation had presented itself to him and he was forced to look on as those troubled eyes searched for an answer that only he could provide. He turned and faced the street, consciously avoiding that gaze.

"What kind of guy is he?" he asked in a halting tone.

"He's in the soccer club," she replied, now turning her gaze to the ground. "He also gets pretty decent grades, and he's somewhat popular with the other girls."

"Well, he doesn't sound half bad."

Shiho sighed.

"You don't sound very impressed with him at all, Yuuichi-kun."

"Yeah... Sorry. I'm just not in the mood right now."

She seemed to understand his sentiment as they began to walk once more. This time they stopped at the local park and took a seat on one of the benches. He shuffled around in his pockets and extracted one of the canned coffees that was starting to cool down in the nippy temperature. She took the offered beverage and opened it after shaking it slightly. She sipped the coffee with measured sips and waited patiently as Yuuichi struggled with his can. When he finally managed to open it without spilling most of it on himself, she found herself wanting to continue this sad conversation of theirs. Was this what a break-up entailed? They weren't even together. Then why did it feel like she couldn't even swallow the coffee she was drinking? She wanted desperately to throw the can down and shake the boy beside her until he finally did something other than stare off into space, but there was no use. Instead she leaned back and finished half of the can before cradling it in her hands.

"... Did you love Mai?" she asked softly.

He took a sip of coffee.

"I would have liked to say yes to that. It would have made life a lot easier if I could just say yes from the bottom of my heart."

"I wonder, Yuuichi-kun, if you ever did love anyone from the bottom of your heart," she continued after a quiet moment.

He thought about it, long and hard, pushing the heat-of-the-moment confessions in the line of fire and the first night at the hotel room back in Kyoto. When he did push these events away, the answer became quite clear but he did not falter. He had no reason to falter.

"I honestly wish that I could say that I did."

If the realization hurt Shiho, she was doing a remarkable job of hiding it away. He was doing a remarkable job of not looking at her. Instead she finished her coffee and set the can down beside her for a moment. He continued to sip from the can even as the coffee ran dry, if only to occupy his hands and mouth with something to do in light of the situation. He didn't want anything more to do with these people, so he stood and picked up his can and the can beside Shiho. Methodically he tossed these cans into the designated bin and tucked his chilled hands in his jacket pockets once more. He looked up, momentarily blinded by the street lamp before his eyes accommodated to the bright globe of light in order to pick out the pinpricks of stars in the sky. He found himself smiling ruefully as he caught Shiho's eye.

"You should try going out with this guy," he remarked with a crooked smile. "Who knows? Maybe you'll like him as much as he likes you."

She stood and joined him as he returned to staring at the stars.

"You know, I kinda held out on hope for the last second there," she admitted softly. Her face was hidden from his unseeing eyes. "But I knew you would say something like that."

"... I'm sorry. I wish I could have given you what you wanted."

He wasn't sure he meant these useless words at all, but he had to say them before his heart completely froze over. She shook her head and smiled a tight-lipped smile at his efforts.

"No, you don't have to be sorry. You're not being very honest when you attempt to apologize after all."

She stood and straightened her jacket before turning to walk away. She failed to say anything more as she walked, but he knew what she was trying to say regardless. He watched her go with an unreadable expression on his face before he frowned to himself.

"Well, that's it, isn't it."

* * *

So went the downfall of a rather neurotic young man, a face that wasn't quite recognizable due to its relatively normal appearance. Yuuichi took to eating his meals on the same roof where he got his face punched in, but the memory was a mere haze as the months came and went. Now it was December, a season of good cheer and a much-needed break. The Student Council meeting had called for a break, so now he was on the roof bundled up in his coat and a frumpy scarf he found at the bottom of his dresser. He munched on his packaged sandwiches and stared down at the athletic field in front of the school with a bored expression on his face. The paperwork was still piling on but the workload was surprisingly not as bad as he had feared. Indeed, now that they had an established routine and a team of four willing to work together, they found that their paperwork was slowly growing more and more scarce, just in time for break. Briefly he wondered if Fujino was going to be stopping by the Student Council room today on account of her birthday coming up soon. Kuga was a remarkably efficient Kaichou but her lack of aptitude for remembering important dates was somewhat alarming. He would have been in for an afternoon of rare fun, but with Fujino came Kanzaki, and with Kanzaki came the still unbearable desire to punch his face in. Of course, he was merely being superficial over the entire thing, but that didn't stop him from having his irrational thoughts over his unfair hand in life. But his hands no longer ached to punch their way through the problem, and he was resigned to simply sitting still and eating his sandwiches.

Yuuichi saw more of Mai and Reito, together and separately. There was no doubt in what was occurring despite not hearing a thing about it. He had locked himself in his room with paper and pen and struggled with himself for several days before setting the pen down and folding the papers together. This letter he then threw into his bottom drawer in a lock box with a key. It wasn't the time to be writing letters when everything was already said and done. He met this soccer player of Shiho's only once, during a break in classes where he had walked out to stretch his legs before the next teacher in their rotation appeared. It was then that he saw the tall, brown-haired individual with expressive eyes and an easy smile. He wondered briefly if that was how he might have looked to Shiho's obsession-addled eyes in the past, but then the boy opened his mouth and spoke with a voice refreshingly filled with honest conviction. This boy wasn't going to stray back and forth across the line, Yuuichi realized. So when Shiho walked up to him and they exchanged cordial greetings, he found himself smiling instead of frowning possessively. This was an easier pill to swallow. At least the boy did not know him well enough to be considered a friend. At least Shiho was looking towards someone who could look back at her with honest eyes.

His lone reverie was interrupted when the door to the roof opened once more. He turned and caught the familiar glasses-laden eyes of his colleague and Executive Director. Yukino seemed just as surprised as he was, but she merely nodded her quiet greeting and walked over to the railing with her hands gently resting on the metal. He watched her for a moment before returning to his sandwich. She seemed cold enough in that flimsy green jacket and lack of scarf, but the only indication that she felt the same way was from the brief shiver that left her shoulders. He finished his first sandwich and clapped his hands free of bread crumbs before standing up and stretching his arms above his head.

"You look kinda cold," he noted.

She shrugged.

"It's not so bad," she replied in her soft voice.

He offered a hesitant smile before walking closer to her. For some reason she failed to acknowledge this as she continued to stare out into the athletic fields below her. He leaned an elbow against the railing and looked down as well.

"Anything interesting going on back in the room?" he asked.

"Not really. Fujino-san and Kanzaki-san are there right now on another one of their visits."

Something was missing from this little explanation and he frowned. Now, he wasn't too observant, he knew that. Maybe if he was, none of this would have happened in the first place. But that was in the past, and right now he liked to tell himself that maybe he did have something to learn from his mistakes. Right now that something new he learned was telling him that Yukino was sounding too dismissive, too resigned to a realization that he had yet to discover. So he replayed her reply a few times in his head before noticing that the third member of that vaulted Student Council trio hadn't been mentioned in her terse explanation.

"What about Suzushiro?" he asked after a moment.

"Haruka-chan is still on campus at University," Yukino replied.

Ah, there it was. He mentally congratulated himself on finding the source of her consternation before reminding himself that it was only half of the situation. He took in her troubled eyes and uncharacteristically stern expression for a moment before he flicked his gaze away.

"Is that so? I guess she was busy, then—"

"She's avoiding me," Yukino said bluntly.

Yuuichi frowned at that.

"Eh, I'm pretty sure she probably had something to do," he offered in an uncertain tone.

Yukino shook her head and refocused her gaze out to the athletic field.

"I heard about what you did," she murmured. "Back in Kyoto. And how it affected Mai-san."

"... Yeah."

"Why did you do it?"

Yuuichi rested his chin against his palm and sighed.

"... I guess I was trying to find something I already had, now that it's all said and done."

"Happiness, you mean?"

"Something like that. But that's beside the point, isn't it? Look, it's been a while since all that happened, almost a month and a half." He felt his voice grow stronger. "And sure, I know I wasn't exactly in the right, but listen, I know that now. Kuga pretty much punched it into me if you didn't remember."

Yukino offered no reply for a few minutes and Yuuichi shook his head.

"... It's just so annoying," he muttered.

"I heard Haruka-chan might be dating someone," she said finally, causing him to stop.

"... Wow."

As he struggled to formulate a viable picture of what it might be like for that unholy terror of Suzushiro in an actual relationship with someone, Yukino sighed. Yuuichi looked over and noticed for the first time how troubled those eyes seemed beneath those glasses.

"I heard from Kanzaki-san," Yukino explained in a hushed voice. "Apparently he saw them together in various places and wanted to ask me about it. As if I was going to know. Even Fujino-san was surprised."

"That's rare for her to be surprised," Yuuichi remarked.

"I just don't understand. She never said a word about it."

This was going to be a slippery slope. Yuuichi found himself grasping onto the railing as he thought about it. How nostalgic, really. He tried to shake himself free of those thoughts, but here beside him was an individual who was slowly starting to emulate his own struggles. This was different, though. He knew her feelings for the boisterous and hard-to-handle Suzushiro. It wasn't any different from the happily-attached-to-the-hip Kaichou couple, yet Suzushiro to his knowledge was completely against the idea of two girls being together. It wasn't even a calm dismissal. He had heard the words from Mai once when the future was still reeling from events in the past. They spent hours curled up together, mumbling to one another about who-did-what and what-happened-here. Mai had been worried, of course, almost too worried for Yuuichi's comfort. Kuga was plagued by these heavy thoughts then, by fears that her feelings were merely residual emotions from that Carnival. It was then that he had learned about Haruka's impassioned statement about how Shizuru's slow descent into obsession was unhealthy, and wrong. But he could not forget Yukino's own accusations of Shizuru masquerading as Kuga's friend only for that moment. That much was a lie, of course. So on, and so forth. He honestly wondered how the four of them managed to sit in the same room civilly, much less Kuga and Yukino sharing the same office together. Maybe it was all of their faults and they were merely acknowledging this, but a quaint fact still stood. Some things ran deeper than the water used to wash them out.

_So long, childhood contentment._

It was the first snow of the season, and Yukino's short hair flew this way and that from the harsh winds on the rooftop. Yuuichi watched the white flakes fall with a slightly fascinated expression on his face.

_Hello, world._

It came to him now, like a lightning bolt zeroing in on his head. He nearly found himself getting bowled over by this realization.

What is happiness?

Everything, and nothing.

It was something that could be both created and destroyed, something that could be found and lost. The girl beside him was losing her little piece of happiness right now, letting it slip from her fingertips like these flakes of snow that melted upon contact. No two of them were alike. There was never going to be another Suzushiro. There was never going to be another Shiho, another Mai. Yuuichi found himself grinning before he began to chuckle to himself. Yukino frowned and looked over towards her colleague. Yuuichi shook his head but the chuckles spilled out of his lips, shaking his shoulders and tumbling out into the bitter cold.

"Go after her, Kikukawa-san. Seriously. Chase her down to the ends of the world and confess to her."

Yukino opened her mouth, shut it, then her lips parted to show a flash of white teeth before she merely frowned at the boy beside her. He cocked his head back and stared up at the whirling flurry that descended upon them.

"Look at me, giving out advice. But do it. You shouldn't sit and regret things while crying over them when no one else is looking."

"... Like you do, with this rooftop of yours?"

Yuuichi tore his gaze from the sky and looked down at Yukino who now had a bit of an understanding light in her eyes. For some reason he hated this look, but he remained relatively still as she finally sighed and nodded.

"It's odd for you to be like this for so long," she explained with a forced shrug. "For some reason, I wonder if you enjoy being this downtrodden."

She knew, then, the pain beneath his accepting eyes. She knew what he knew, about the still small meetings between the girl he had abandoned and the man he had grown to resent over the years. No one had said a word, but it wasn't too hard to assume this at all. Yuuichi tightened his grip over the railing and shivered slightly.

"Well, I'm a man who's down on luck and life, apparently. It's a sad thing to behold, but one of us has to do it."

"... It seems like you are a little too accepting of yourself."

Yuuichi wrinkled his nose at that.

"Hey, if I jumped off the roof right now, what would you do?"

Yukino blinked.

"... Well, I don't really know. You're being a little too dramatic right now."

"Yeah. Would you try to talk me down?"

"I don't think I'm the right person for that." Yukino adjusted her glasses and sighed, finally. "You don't want me to talk you down, Tate-san."

"... What do you mean?"

She shook her head and turned around to go.

"It's just like what I said. You don't want me to talk you down. You want Mai-san to talk you down."

Yuuichi watched in a slack silence as Yukino quietly exited the roof.

_Your heinous highness broke her hymen, hey man try to quit your crying.  
I know she broke your heart but try to come down, try to come down._

* * *

A few days later, the door to his room opened silently and he looked up. His chin was growing rough from lack of shaving and now he was sporting the stubble-ridden beginnings of a rather scruffy beard. For some reason he had an inkling over who it could have been. There was really only one more person to visit him in this stage of recovery, after all. Mai looked at him silently for a few minutes before she let herself in and shut the door. The room was swallowed up in darkness once more until she walked over and absently flipped the light switch on. He stared at her through this lone light, his eyes hollow and his lips firmly clamped together as she stood in front of him.

"I thought this was going to be extremely difficult to do," she began. "It really isn't, actually."

He nodded numbly to indicate that he was listening to her. His palms were starting to sweat as his hands grasped onto his knees.

"You probably already know why I'm here."

"I do. He's a good man. Better than I can be, anyway."

Yuuichi offered a bitter laugh that sounded too deep for his normal voice. Mai watched him quietly until his shoulders stopped shaking.

"So... did you find it?" she asked.

"I did." He shook his head. "Then I lost it. Or I let go of it, interpret that any way you like."

"So... what was your happiness, then?"

Yuuichi took in a deep breath and let out a reedy little sigh that spoke of chest congestion and sleepless nights.

"You wouldn't stray, and I thought I could stay the same for you. Forever. But I guess you can't stand still forever, or else you'll get punched one too many times for it."

He looked down at his hands and finally released his knees.

"I saw the two of you, in the coffee shop some time ago. Can't remember when, exactly. But you were beautiful and your eyes were alive."

He looked up at her eyes and saw the familiar glimmer to them.

"We used to have that. But I grew nervous, too anxious, wondering if the world was going to change overnight. And soon that started to die from your eyes, and I panicked. So I did what I thought was going to bring me that happiness back, and all I managed to do was ruin everything in the process."

"... Are you sorry you did it?" Mai asked in a hushed tone.

"Every night, I like to say I am. It's not a lie, I'm very sorry for what I did. I strayed, Mai, I turned away and I strayed. And in the end, so did you."

Silence invaded the room once more as Yuuichi's statement weighed down on Mai's heart. She made to argue against his point, but it was a bit useless.

"I didn't do anything with him," Mai said weakly.

"No. He's a better man than I will be."

Yuuichi leaned back and sighed before flinching slightly.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah. Just remembering some of the more brutal hits I took from Kuga. It's fine now. I deserved it anyway."

Her unspoken question was laid to rest before she could even ask it. She stared at his body sprawled out on the chair and she stood quietly.

"It's not going to heal overnight, isn't it?" she asked softly.

"You better get away while you still can," Yuuichi muttered in response. "I'm not going to ask you to come back to me after what I did."

"You'll let go of me that easily?" Her brow tensed. "What about Shiho?"

"Hm? She has a boyfriend now."

At Mai's shocked expression he offered a small shrug.

"Yeah, some soccer player. Looks like a good kid and she's giving him a chance. So far it's been alright."

"I see. So then... that's it, isn't it?"

"Yeah. It's kinda weird. I had expected some huge fight, but this is better for us."

"Yeah..."

They eased into a more comfortable silence before Mai sighed. Yuuichi looked up and frowned contemplatively.

"Wait. Have you heard anything about Kikukawa?"

"Yukino-chan?" Mai frowned. "What about her?"

"She mentioned something about how Suzushiro wasn't visiting campus again like Fujino-san and sempai."

"Oh... so you've heard something, at least."

Mai sat down again and drew her chair a little closer to his.

"Apparently Suzushiro-san is hanging around an upperclassman in the university, a male teaching assistant. I'm not sure what's really going on but if anything it's more a business-related arrangement than anything else."

"I see. So I guess that isn't too much to worry over after all."

Their conversation continued in this slow and ponderous manner with Mai offering small explanations to simple questions that Yuuichi asked. It almost felt like the past was reliving itself in his dorm room again but this time it didn't plague him as much as he had grown to expect. Soon Mai checked the clock and absently gaped at the fact that she had spent two hours more than she had expected, but soon she gathered up her things and made her way to the front door with Yuuichi following in a slightly lethargic pace. She turned around suddenly and nearly bumped into his chest, but he stopped in time to keep their distance more platonic than anything else. She merely rested her forehead on his chest and stood there as he tucked his hands into his pockets and did nothing but stare at the closed door.

"He's probably waiting outside right now, knowing him," he murmured finally.

"I wish you could say something other than that," she whispered. "Did those years really mean nothing to you?"

"Everything, Mai. They meant everything. But I can only say that now because I lost them, and I'm not going to get them back by begging you to stay here with me."

"Why not?"

"... It's just not going to happen."

She shook her head into his chest before finally letting him go. He failed to see her face as she turned to walk out the door, but he found feel the wetness on his chest as a blast of wintry air hit him on her way out.

* * *

His feelings. Her feelings. Their feelings.

The story would never end, as time passed them by and the world turned around and around. The seasons would change and the climate would shift but their struggles would never cease to accommodate for these constant changes in venue.

Throughout it all Yuuichi learned two things.

Happiness was relative.

Happiness was never concrete.

But what was happiness? This he would never be able to put into words, and that was alright for him now.

The Student Council was on break right now, and Yukino and Shiho were out fetching papers while Natsuki manned the fort for the time being. He stood on the rooftop once more. A spring wind blew on his face, carrying with it the feeling of warmth and cheer. He spread his hands and felt the wind tickle his fingertips, causing a small grin to grow on his lips. His open jacket flew back and the cloth rippled behind him through this constant breeze.

He laughed. For two minutes he laughed until his lungs heaved and his stomach hurt from the spasms. Anyone looking up at him at this moment would have had some serious concerns over this boy's well being but he merely laughed until the laughs died and his lips trembled from the lack of sound. His arms fell limply to his sides and he shook his head.

He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.

_Gonna jump_

_Gonna jump_

_Gonna die this year..._

When he opened his eyes, he felt the world stop for a quarter of a second before it sped back up to him.

"Oh... it's just not worth it."

Yuuichi looked up at those impossibly blue skies that lasted from now onto forever. What would he discover from now on?

"... It really isn't worth it."

He took several steps back and turned. He walked the fifteen steps from the railing to the door, opened the door, and walked back in with a definitive push behind him to get the door closed. He wasn't going to resist his future today, or the day after that.

He was now off the roof.

* * *

AN: Well, here it is.

As I said, this was a bit of a personal reflection, which could account for the abrupt end of this piece. There might be an extra, but I would probably finish Winter's Road before I think about it.

That said, if there are any pressing questions, do feel free to ask them. If there are more than a few, I could even post a general question and answer piece in response.

Cheers, and remember, happiness doesn't really make sense unless you give it a meaning.


End file.
